Food manufacturers
When writing the cooking instructions to go on the back of packets and labels, stop referring to the product in the first person. I don't want to read "Pour me into a pan and heat gently, but don't let me boil" as it just sounds utter wank.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:58, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I find it quite creepy.
Not sure who came up with it, but they deserve a slap.
( Bats, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 8:27, Reply)

Probably Homepride
a lot of their sauces have it on. It's not as bad as a bag of oven chips I saw recently. The instructions started with "Mmm chips"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Where I live
A lot of instructions are phrased like, for example, 'I get on the bus, I stamp my ticket...' Drives me nuts.
(bat_fudgie, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 6:45, Reply)