If you did though, you could try sticking a hefty length of Sallotape across your anus when you go to bed
and then rip it off in the morning and inspect it.

If there are not just bum-hairs stuck to it but also white threads, you have worms, which are coming out of your botty at night to lay eggs.

The chemist will then sell you over-the-counter worm treatment, after which you can say goodbye to Mr Itchy.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 21:26, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

that sounds painful
It could also be arse grapes
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 22:16, Reply)