Never go for a piss
at the urinals in a football ground at half-time, make sure you go before or after, when its not as busy.

Many a time have I tried to piss after 45 mins of tea and nervously waiting for my bloody team to score. The pressure of being stood shoulder-to-shoulder with fat, sweaty men while a queue of more fat bastards impatiently try not to watch you relieve yourself means that your cock seems to heal over entirely and refuse to allow any wee out.

Of course, you could go in a cubicle to have a piss and bypass all that awkwardness. However, this (as we all know) makes you gay. Such are the trivialities of male toilet etiquette.

When I was younger I used to hail abuse at people that left their seats 10mins before the end of a half for their apparent lack of support. Now I sympathise with them; some of us just need a slash without feeling pressurised.



And if you thought this was long, you should have seen the guy who took a piss next to me once...
(Hammer Time, Thu 11 Jan 2007, 19:45, Reply)