There's this thing
called active listening. You feel like a twat when you first start doing it, but with genuinely upset people, it works very well to calm them down, make them feel better. The idea is to reflect back to them, in your own words, what they have said to. If you've misunderstood what they've said, they'll correct you, and you reflect back again.

I think what was happening, is that by offering solutions, you weren't feeling how upset she was. Almost as if, oh you shouldn't feel upset because that is not a real problem. She wanted to be upset, so you let her be upset and work it out.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 4:42, Reply)