Old lady currently in front of me in the queue on the bus
To ensure that you make the lad behind you late for work, do not have you purse out and ready to pay the driver. Instead, wait until the driver asks for payment and spend as long as you want foraging in your handbag for it. This is then the time to empty the entire purse and count one by one every coin you require to pay the fare (for maximum effect, use coins of no higher value that 10p!). To finish, forget to take your ticket once you've paid and come back for it, interrupting the young lad behind you i the queue as he tries hurriedly to get a ticket and get to work as soon as possible.

Better safe than sorry! On the way off the bus, notice an old friend of yours you haven't seen for a while who was sitting just a few seats in front of you and quiz her on how her garden is, what her grandson has been up to and whether she's been to that new garden centre just off the A45 because it's dead flashy. This should stall the lad behind you for that crucial few seconds while his boss's blood pressure escalates.
(HNGTHDJ, Wed 6 Jun 2007, 1:10, Reply)