AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES




1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will
be afraid to cough.

3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.

5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use
a timer.

6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget about the toothache.


Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Always remember...
* Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
* Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
* If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally.........
* Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might
need them to empty your bedpan.
(cornish_breeze I havnt failed! I found 1000 ways that didnt work!, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 14:37, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

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Fail.
(Arsenic, Fri 13 Jul, 2:73 and, Sun 25 Apr 2010, 7:28, Reply)