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This is a question Training courses, seminars and conferences

Inspirational or a waste of precious slacking-off time? I once went on a buzzword bingo-laden training course which ended up with my being held at gunpoint in public. Could have gone better, to be honest. Tell us your tales from either side of the lectern

(, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:01)
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I lasted a fortnight
I was employed as an ‘out of hours phone operative’ with c*untrywide property lawyers. The job mainly consisted of getting shouted at by people who were buying or selling a house after the twat who’d bollocksed things up had gone home. All new recruits, irrespective of their job, were sent on a 2 day, in-house course to learn about the company history and ethos (Ugh).

One of the attendees was Janet, the new head of HR, who for the entire duration of the course, constantly hijacked every discussion to prattle on about the importance of customer service, punctuated with stories about how great the customer service in India (where she previously worked) is, compared to the UK.

One of the ‘getting to know you’ exercises was answer a list of short questions to share with the group, I remember the icy stare and stony silence combo Janet gave me when I burst out laughing to her ‘Name something you hate’ response being... “bad customer service”.

I said “spiders”
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 12:26, 8 replies)
so your story is 'I burst out laughing at things for no reason'?

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:08, closed)
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 13:09, closed)
And - don't tell me, let me guess -
She didn't just appreciate and value it, but was "passionate" about good customer service.

As if it's the only adjective that means "I like this" available to people who wear business dress to work.

Fuckspanners, the lot of them.

Especially the assortment of platitude spouting, egomaniacal know-nothings we're about to be subjected to in the new series of The Apprentice. It's fist-itchingly compelling telly, but where do they dredge up so many losers from?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 15:35, closed)
The Apprentice is unwatchable shite.
You've just outed yourself as an aspirational suit-wearer, worshipping at the church of Sugar.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:48, closed)
It's one of life's little mysteries
that HR managers always seem to have appalling people skills.

"Ah yes, this candidate is a passive-agressive sociopath with a napoleon complex, zero self-awareness, and a simpering, ingratiating personality that could drive Gandhi to acts of violence. Just what we're looking for to deal with our staff on a daily basis."
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 16:32, closed)
You are clearly some sort of denty-brained headwrong.
Spiders are LOVELY.
Further proof
(, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 4:44, closed)
I'd love to have hydraulic legs

(, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 7:10, closed)
Reply click for 'denty-brained headwrong'.
I fully intend to use this today. It's up there with my previous favourite b3ta insult 'charmless joy-void'.
(, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:38, closed)

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