This isn't any birdshit,
this is sterilised birdshit.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 12:53, 2 replies)

This is...
Marks and Spencer, double-irradiated, Melopsittacus undulatus birdshit.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 13:44, closed)

In my old supermarket job I frequently had this argument with my boss, who kept bollocking me for throwing away split bags of frozen veg.
Fuck the food hygiene law, he'd say, wrap the thing up and mark it down. The customers are going to boil the stuff anyway.
Oh, so all the dirt and other shit that's got into the bag just magically vanishes when placed into boiling water? was my normal reply.

Top tip: NEVER buy marked down frozen food unless it's clearly a short date issue
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 19:55, closed)

Tell him to boil a shit and eat it.

(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Wed 5 Mar 2014, 13:18, closed)