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This is a question Twat Friends

BraynDedd tugs our sleeve and asks: "You know the one, the mate who is guaranteed to ruin every social situation by being an embarrassment/sexist/racist/bellend etc. Tell us about your twattiest mate."

(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:50)
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Not all cunts are cunts
I used to hang out with a friend who lacked social skills,a bellend by most standards. He was just one of those of people who couldn't gauge anybody else's emotional state, entirely insensitive to moods, his Alan Partridge knob was constantly on 10. I saw him guffaw at car crash scenes, put his arm around the shoulders of a surly Glaswegian bouncer to cheer him up, and tell a mourner to look on the bright side - he was lucky it wasn't both his kids. Most of my other friends hated him, but I persevered because I could see he genuinely had no malicious intent, in fact all that aside he was a pretty generous soul. I lost interest and 'chucked' him when he became a fanny rat and would pursue girls way out of his league long beyond you and I would have got the message. From their boyfriend.

Seriously, he was a fucking liability, a dangerous bloke to have in tow.

20 years later and I'm married to a woman who's son has Asperger's, and another of life's little mysteries is resolved. Kind of like when I found out Babapapa is Spanish for candy floss.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 5:49, 34 replies)
Man, I wish you'd just stop posting all these Star Wars references.

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 5:50, closed)
My autism alarm went off before the end of the first line.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 9:18, closed)
Between that, and my smugness alarm,
I'm getting quite the headache.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 9:36, closed)
Aspergers is no excuse for acting the cunt.

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 9:46, closed)
It seems bad behaviour as the result of lazy parenting is becoming medicized - it's not his fault - he's not spoilt, he has ADHD, it's not a tantrum, it's ... asplergers or whatever.

Maybe you should just slap into your idiot, ugly child once in a while instead of watching Jeremy Kyle and spawning more, you vile worms.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 9:52, closed)

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 9:58, closed)

An acquaintance of mine has asperger's. He's not a prick at all.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 10:24, closed)
See also: shit at spelling dyslexia

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:04, closed)
DylSEXYa, more like!

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:22, closed)
I ca'nt spel furginer but I can deffenitly eat it!

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:43, closed)

(, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 21:39, closed)
What's your excuse, then?

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 9:53, closed)
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 10:37, closed)
Oh you

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:16, closed)
Bless your little cotton socks,
you cheeky wee scamp.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:23, closed)
Well we may as well all pack up ans go home then.

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 10:40, closed)
The Spanish for candyfloss is algodón azucarado.
You're probably thinking of the French which is barbe à papa or daddy's beard.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:01, closed)
^Nobody likes a smart-arse^

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:11, closed)

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:22, closed)
Erm, yuck.

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:46, closed)
Alright, the luggage.

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:41, closed)
My youngest thinks this is hilarious. Particularly when she managed to get some in my beard.
Congratulations. You have the humour of a three year old French girl.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:14, closed)
More sophisticated than most /qotw-ers, then?

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 15:47, closed)
By miles.

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 16:19, closed)
Aspergers is not a medical condition
it's an overdiagnosed catchall term for a host of behavioural issues, only some of which relate to autism
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:55, closed)
Your mum is an over-diagnosed catch all.

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:44, closed)
Aren't all syndromes just medical speak for "you're obviously ill but we're not sure what it is"?

(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 15:47, closed)
You've got that wrong there chief, sorry
Aspergers does exist but it's no longer seen as a separate disorder in it own right. Aspergers is just one of many forms of autism, is all. Jus sayin
(, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:14, closed)
*head asplodes*

(, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:44, closed)
and while we're on the subject, let's remember this classic

one-sentence summary: man goes to psychiatrist, then gets angry when the psychiatrist fails to read his mind
(, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 20:53, closed)
It's even better than that
It's "i read about it on the internet so I know better than someone who fucking trained for years in the field"
(, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:23, closed)

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