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This is a question Twattery

Nigella Pussycat says: Tell us about utter twats doing remarkably twatty things. Or have you ever done something really twattish to a friend, loved one or pet? In summary: Twats

(, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:30)
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I had recently awoken from a 24 hour migraine-induced sleep and was feeling pretty shaky. So, I headed off to the supermarket to get some supplies of good comfort food to get my strength back and generally make myself feel more human again.

So there I was, queuing up to pay like any normal person when, from out of nowhere, a pensioner sailed past me as the checkout that was mine by right became free. To make matters worse, the mouth-breather manning it decided to serve him.

Stunned, I walked up to him and politely explained that there was a queue he had just walked past. "Oh, no," he replied, "I never queue. I just take my chances."

Everyone in the queues' amazement grew as I explained patiently that, in this country, we have a system of queuing that he may not have heard of but served the rest of us pretty well. Nope, he couldn't accept that it applied to him.

So, I am sad to say, that in my enfeebled state my customary politeness left me and I explained to him that unless he moved to the back of the queue he would be making a trip to A&E in pretty short order. (Despite his advanced years, he was spritely and I felt that a ruddy good smack in the mouth wouldn't cause him to die, like so many of his kind.)

At this point the twat stepped back with a comment about young people being rude and that I should show respect to my elders.

Finally, my politeness returned and I retorted "Well, by your age I would have expected you to have learned some manners!"

This brought about much laughter from the others in the queue he had insulted by pushing in front of, plus the mouth breather on the till. Humiliated, he retreated and I paid for my shopping like I should have been able to before that twat barged in.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:33, 26 replies)
And you threatened to hit a pensioner.
Well done you.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:49, closed)
To be fair
He did try politely pointing out the queue and asking him to go to the back first. I hate people being rude and queue jumping, I'd have snapped and said something impolite too.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:07, closed)
I like this.
Pensioners think they can get away with so much. I was helping my mate's mum with a bunch of shopping, and this old biddy sailed past her just as she was about to pay, and said aggressively to the cashier, "Can I just pay for these?!" and produced two tins of cat food, toilet paper, and some bloody air freshener, and then proceeded to request 20 B&H!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:58, closed)
Old or not, still a twat!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:16, closed)
To paraphrase Rabbie Burns
'A twat's a twat fer a' that'
Pensioner or no, he 'took his chances' and was threatened with a smack in the mouth. Perhaps he'll not try it on again.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:24, closed)
I can sympathise
I've just got back from an essential post-migraine shopping trip, there's nothing worse, I ended up having another funny turn, leaving me dazed for a couple of hours.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:39, closed)
You should have followed him home and stabbed him in the eyes with a rusty fork.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:39, closed)
I have to agree...
I find this sort of applies with with pensioners driving. They can be the angriest, most selfish, bad mannered, miserable spunktrumpets you ever meet when they're behind a wheel.

In my experience I think I would rather come up against an 'E'd up to the eyesockets boy racer or even (god help me) your BMW driving executive wankbiscuit than your average octogenarian 'Mr / Miss Daisy' on the road.

For example, if you give way to them on a narrow lane, they never smile, wave or offer any sort of acknowledgement, they just steam through as if they own the road, and you should have given way anyway because they're old and you're fucking not.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:50, closed)
Are you following me PF?

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:52, closed)
erm...no...not at all...

*hides behind hedge*

*wanks a bit*
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:11, closed)
Look I have already got Vagabond gaying me up non stop.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:20, closed)
Don't flatter yourself, love.
The last time I bummed you it turned out you were broke and had to suck your dad off for cash again.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:27, closed)
Can't we share?...

There's plenty of Turtle to go round!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:30, closed)
I am not fat, it is glandular.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:30, closed)
..everyone know's Mock Turtle is mine!
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:48, closed)
Well then can you take him away, please?
He's cluttering the place up and making it look untidy.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:01, closed)
Vagabond is just jealous.
The last time he pulled was in 1973 and the woman was dead drunk.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:04, closed)
She wasn't acutally dead at that point.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:32, closed)
Please gaz me booby pictures for due consideration.
Not these withfriendship.com/images/i/44387/Blue-footed-Booby-wallpaper.jpg booby pics btw.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:04, closed)
Excellent employment of the term "spunktrumpets" here.

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:56, closed)
This incensed me...!! I wonder if it the situation had been reversed the younger person would have got a conditional discharge. What society seems to forget is that a lot of pensioners these days were trained to kill with their bare hands and probably did so...

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:06, closed)
There's twattery on both sides here.
He was rude, but it might actually be true to say that queueing up when you're 70 is uncomfortable. The correct thing might just have been to give him an earful, but let him through anyway.

In some countries, seniors have a legal right to queue barge, and I can tell you, that IS exasperating, when 3 or 4 in a row barge in front of you - several of who have a fucking FULL trolley.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:21, closed)
Please tell me what countries allow that...

So I can remind myself to NEVER go there.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:36, closed)
Anyone over 60 doesn't have to queue. Neither do disabled people, or pregnant women.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:02, closed)
compo this

(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 16:24, closed)
What if there's several 60+yos?
Do they go in age order or something?
(, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 9:29, closed)

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