I don't know that this really counts as being a twat...
...after all, they did make cakes for everyone (although they also said 'Hey guys' so it balances out). But I just received this email:


"Hey guys, home made cakes on my desk, help yourself. Suitable for vegetarians. No Eggs! (they do contain gelatine)"


...um...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 9:31, 22 replies)

so...free cakes and still you bitch
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:08, closed)

Ha.
I'm not bitching. I'm eating.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:24, closed)

Good man. I always had faith in you.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:25, closed)

twats
I wouldn't want ANYTHING suitable for them veggie fuckers.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:14, closed)

Missing the point much?
(MayorBoris, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:17, closed)

a little
but I'm not bothered about people saying "hey guys".

Unless of course it's a veggie saying "hey guys, is there a veggie option?" whilst at a bbq, next to an abbatoir, during a meat festival, in France, whilst giving their pets tofu.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:26, closed)

I mean about the cakes not actually being suitable for vegetarians...
(MayorBoris, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:31, closed)

balls
Why do I never read anything in brackets?
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:36, closed)

(because your dads blowjob makes your eyes roll backwards in your head)
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:38, closed)

Ah, good of you to catch up.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:42, closed)

gutted
feel like a pissflap porcupine now.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:25, closed)

Lazy cunts, they could always leave the gelatine on the side of their plate and eat everything else

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:40, closed)

they're only a twat for pointing out the gelatine.
Should have put bacon in them as well, fuckers have to learn eventually.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:27, closed)

wait gelatine from animal bones isn't vegetarian is it?
so they're not suitable for vegetarians, whereas eggs are

is this person stupid?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:29, closed)

THAT'S THE JOKE

( Noo_Noo Is now 'BeerElf Jnr', I guess :), Wed 18 Apr 2012, 15:02, closed)

the cake is a lie!
eggs don't contain gelatine.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:41, closed)

I think he meant
the cakes were not suitable for eggs.
(username failed moderation, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:44, closed)

You can get vegetarian gelatin
So maybe they are a twat for making cakes
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Wed 18 Apr 2012, 13:48, closed)

perhaps he meant gluten and is a thicko?

( parttimedogfish is a Born-Again Reincarnationist, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 15:06, closed)

Twat should have supplied huge sirloin steaks instead...

And the email should have read:

"Hey guys, home made steaks on my desk, help yourself. Suitable for vegetarians. No Eggs! (they do contain mahoosive amounts of meat)"
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Wed 18 Apr 2012, 15:51, closed)

What kind of cakes don't contain eggs, but do contain gelatin?
Vegetarian or not, I wouldn't eat those cakes. They sound shit.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 6:48, closed)

shit cakes, that's what, tangles.
I think parttimedogfish is probably right and he means gluten. But, since anyone who claims an "intolerace" to gluten is also a cunt, I think it's fair to mislead them.

I do not mean coeliacs. That's a very unpleasant condition. I mean those that claim a wheat intolerance. There's no such fucking thing. What they mean is "I get a touch of windypops after crow-barring 4 bagels in so I'm blaming on wheat rather than accept that my pathetic life and shit diet is the issue"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:25, closed)