In the job centre...
...and my sister comes in.

'Hi Sis, what you doing in here? I thought you were working this week?'

Sis rolls her eyes, and glances at the signing on desk.

'Shut UP you twat!..' she shouty-whispers through gritted teeth.

'Oh shit, sorry sis' giggles me.
(inflateable, Sun 5 Apr 2009, 19:41, 9 replies)

WAIT A MINUTE...
SO YOUR SKANKY SISTER WAS SPONGING ON WHILST WORKING. AND YOU WERE SPONGING ON AT THE SAME TIME?

WHAT A GREAT JOB YOUR PARENTS DID. THEY MUST BE SO PROUD. UNLESS THEY WERE IN THE JOB CENTRE TOO.
(Itsme Beaverwax, Sun 5 Apr 2009, 19:52, closed)

Pretty much the size of it, yeah...
....at the time. Daily Mail much?

However, that time being the early 90s when there was literally no work in our tiny town, we thought fuck it. Wrong, yes, but surviving on the dole is hard and given the spectacular tax dodges carried out by various companies, I take my lead from them.
My sister now runs her own business doing very nicely, and I'm a rather well paid Engineer and a published author to boot.

My parents are very proud indeed.
(inflateable, Sun 5 Apr 2009, 20:04, closed)

Non sequitur?
'there was literally no work in our tiny town' yet your sister was (and you were?) working?

And saying it's difficult to survive on the dole isn't exactly going to help your cause, methinks.
( Ghoti Fingers, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 10:02, closed)

ABSOFUCKINGLYLUTELY
OH NO, THERE'S NO WORK IN OUR TOWN, WOE IS US. IF ONLY, IF ONLY THERE WAS SOMETHING WE COULD DO... LIKE COMMUTE OR MOVE.....

OR MAYBE THIS ALL TOOK PLACE IN 1800'S RUSSIA AND THEY WERE SERFS, TIED TO THE LAND FOREVER.
(Itsme Beaverwax, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 11:35, closed)

moving isnt that easy
but there is no excuse for benefit fraud. it is a shame this guys sister wasn't caught, but if she was working, she presumably paid tax, and therefore her own benefits?
( Soggy, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 13:42, closed)

oh for fucks sake..
..there was no work.

My sis could get cash in hand from some dodgy landscape gardener who would also give her time to sign on. Say no, and no job, and no money.

Moralistic twats. Try living on 40quid a week for two years and then see if you'd turn it down.

We've both paid it back in spades since then.
(inflateable, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 23:03, closed)

Excuse me
I think that your caps lock key has somehow become stuck down. You might want to have a look at that.

The other option is THAT YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING RUDE, OR COME ACROSS AS A TWAT EVEN IF YOU MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING REASONABLE TO SAY, SIMPLY BY DINT OF THE FACT THAT YOU REPEATEDLY POST IN FUCKING CAPS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 13:53, closed)

^^
I was gonna type that too...
( snee held his breath since, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 14:24, closed)

SHUSH
I AM TRYING TO PICK UP MORE SKIVING WORK TIPS.
(Itsme Beaverwax, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 23:14, closed)