Fraud?
Well maybe. But the way I saw it, if i had the bottle, then bring it on.

After I had left my 2 years at college and was careering headlong into another 2 years at Uni, i decided to sign on.

Because i was married and had a kid, they paid ALL our rent and i got a half decent giro every fortnight, maybe about £220 or so if my memory serves me correctly.

And they paid the council tax.

So when it came time to start Uni and sign off, i only managed to do the former. And every fortnight would skip a crappy lecture in order that i could present myself to the Burroo, as it is called up here in Scatland. Pretend to be looking for work and being very earnest about it as well.

The trick to a reasonably hassle free interview every fortnight was to be very specific about what kind of work you were after at the initial interview. I wanted to be a photographer, or a web designer, and not much else.

So every fortnight the gimp would make a cursory check of the jobs i wanted but where definitely not going to be available. Woo.

This merry go round of lies and deceit continued unthwarted for nearly 2 years. This was well before they introduced New Deal, so i was pretty much safe, living the life of an unemployed dole mole.

During this time i also managed to convince the University Access Fund to pay me several thousand pounds in free hand outs. The trick with that one was to bring my rather beautiful 3 year old boy with me to the assessment interview, and clear my bank account out till it was ball deep in overdraft. The female interviewer barely glanced at my file and instead coochy coo'd at my young son before resolutely writing a cheque for the maximum hand out available.

All the while the giro's are coming in and we are paying no rent. I had no debt to speak of and was cruising at Uni. Times were good.

It was also about this time that i discovered a love of expensive Belgian beers. My current finacial situation allowed me to indulge this past time to the absolute max.

Although signing on can be, and usually is, a very horrific experience, of which had had years of ground down experience, i used to arrive at the Job Centre with a spring in my step and a glint in my eye. There were lots of hairy moments though, when circumstances changed and other forms had to be filled in. But the fact that the organisation as a whole seemed to operate outside the sphere of all other organisations...eg Student Loans, Student Grants, even the tax office, as my wife was working at the same time i was claiming for her, I felt I was riding the crest of a fraudulent wave, the stupid twats. if i had been caught, i would have had to repay all i had claimed and had my name in the paper. I had weighed up the risks and decided they were so inept that i would get away with it.

A few weeks before i finished uni, i got the fear and decided enough was enough. So i signed off to the jubilation of all present and walked out for the last time.

The only downside was a reasonably impressive beer gut that i still proudly own, nearly 12 years on.

Now, i have been gainfully employed ever since and now have a misery inducing amount of debt. So it was a very fortunate period were signing on equalled happy days..
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 9:57, 16 replies)

This happened many years ago.
I signed on and told them of a part-time job I had. I filled in the paper work each time, telling them the hours I worked but when my giro came it was for the full amount. I didn't say anything about the mistake but kept filling in my timesheet of hours worked and I still kept getting paid too much. All I had to say if they cottoned on was I didn't know how much I was supposed to be getting.

This carried on for 6 months. Yay for ineptitude.
( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 10:05, closed)

Yay for thieving!
It's not like it's actual real money, paid for out the pockets of real people.

Oh, hang on....
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 10:08, closed)

It would be like
shooting fish in a barrel.
(jackhiggs no longer a v!rgin as of..., Wed 8 Apr 2009, 10:15, closed)

You'd think
that computer systems could speak to each other. Oh no. I fiddled housing benefit, mortgage relief, benefits etc for years. Whilst working. Yay indeed!
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 8 Apr 2009, 10:28, closed)

Please do excuse me for saying so
but this post makes you sound like a cunt.

You managed to put yourself through university by stealing upwards of thirty grand over two years?

Just because a system can be taken advantage of, doesn't mean you should.

*buffs flame-proof armour*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 10:35, closed)

hmmm
it was no where near 30k i'm afraid. and while i do feel a tinge of regret and even emabarrassment, once i was in and getting the free money, it was hard to stop. Addicted to giro's i suppose.

I had never previously claimed fraudulently and have not done so since. They have tightened everything up and it would be a lot more difficult to get away with someone like that now. Not that i would try.

Temptation can be a very alluring thing and sometimes, just sometimes we break the rules to suit ourselves. In the full knowledge that, if we are caught, we are gonna get cunted in the fuck. But still, we do.

I'm not exactly proud, but it was a considered decision. I never bragged about it to anyone and in all honesty, this is the first time i have ever admitted to it. So yeah, it was shameful, but it doesn't keep me awake at night.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 10:46, closed)

Fair do's.
Confession is good for the soul.
And honesty is ever admirable.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 8 Apr 2009, 10:52, closed)

I didn't mean any offence
It's only the internet after all :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 10:57, closed)

None taken
Sir, i fully expected to be licked by the flames of b3lated justice..
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 11:18, closed)

And hey
You're going to be paying much more of your hard-earned money in tax back, so why not rip the fuckers off?
(razakel, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 11:00, closed)

I must admit No3L does have a point.
Topping up your cash to get by each week is not the same as purposefully grabbing all the cash you can to keep up a certain lifestyle.
( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 10:41, closed)

Do I hear a little remorse?
Is there a shadow of guilt in the closet of your soul?

Many of us have diddled the system: you seem to have gone for the full Fritsel.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 8 Apr 2009, 10:43, closed)

You, sir,
are a cunt.
(dxg, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 10:49, closed)

That explains it.
Why I work so hard and for such long hours, only to see such massive deductions from my payslip in tax.

It's to pay for people like you.

Just because you're not holding a gun and taking money out of someone's wallet, that doesn't mean it's not stealing.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 11:18, closed)

@Eurosong
Don't be a drama queen.

They'd still tax the fuck out of you even if people didn't defraud the system.
( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 11:21, closed)

It was my duty.
To defraud the system.
So the sanctimonious and the Mail readers could moan.
I don't do it any more, unless you class "flowers and chocolates for the model", at £50, on expenses as fraud.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 8 Apr 2009, 11:38, closed)