Health and Safety Advice - Golden Rules
Picture the scene, you're in a lecture theatre, there's 200+ people in there for a health and safety course with work, random spazmo's from all over the country.

Now, its dead boring, as courses generally are, its 3pm, and I wanted to get home for 4pm for Deal or No Deal, that wasn't going to happen. Anyway, I digress...but its my story, so fuck you all...

So the lecturer/H&S guru is telling us about holes in the floor. Riveting I'm sure you'll agree. He's banging on about various sized holes in the floor, and should you cover them up or not, incase you fall through it.

He switches this light on above, and it casts a circular spotlight on the floor. Quite a large one, he gets someone up to stand in it.

"Yes, you could fall through that, you'd have to cover it"

He moves the light closer to the floor, all very snazzy this...the circular spotlight gets smaller. Again, he gets someone up, the same thing occurs.

He does this a few times, and then when the light is literally like 30cm in diameter, he asks for another volunteer. This bloke gets up, fucking massive he is, not tall, but fat as fuck, obese if you will...seriously, this bloke is about 30st if he's a pound. the lecturer looks at him, and tells him..."Now sir, if you have a 30cm diameter hole in the floor, its not likely that you'll fall through it, so you don't need to cover it up".

I'm not surprised, cos his fucking leg is bigger than my waist.

the usual apologies re length, width, height and the 4th dimension.

Edit: apparently he was wrong as well, regarding the hole, if anyone gives a shit.
(Big Andy, Thu 19 Oct 2006, 16:33, Reply)