Anyone
who asks "who's winning" when one is watching a cricket test match.

It invariably leads to having to explain the whole concept of cricket, the test match format, the series, how a test can be won, why it can end in a draw (yes, even after five days), why they don't play until there is a winner and most importantly why no one can be said to be winning especially after one hour of play on the first morning. Oh, I just missed that lbw appeal because I was talking to you...

Just fuck off.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 22:21, 10 replies)

Yes but it's so fucking boring.
I watch American Football. One night I had some cunt of a solicitor ripping into me about how it goes on for hours and it's fucking boring etc. etc. I asked him what his favourite sport was and he said 'Test Cricket', a game that goes on for what seems like years and you know it's likely to end in a draw 6 months in but you still sit and watch. I asked him never to offer to defend me in a court of Law.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 23:25, closed)

It *is* boring, though.
Some fat guys in huge padded suits waddle onto the pitch. They waddle pointlessly up and down, slowly, for a few minutes. Then they realise they've forgotten where they left the ball, and stop for fifteen minutes while an advert break comes on.

How the hell can you watch that?
(gordonjcp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 1:37, closed)

Are you nominating yourself?
Whoever you were explaining it to was probably just being polite and pretending they cared.
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 23:44, closed)

I know
but still.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 7:12, closed)

Yes........What CADmonkey said.

(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 6:59, closed)

Except when the poms win the Ashes.
Then I'm more than happy to be distracted.
Now where's that Ponting fella?
*btw, ftr - I've always thought of cricket as a good excuse to be distracted whilst watching the grass grow. Until you bowl someone out or hit a 6 - then it's wicked fun!*
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 30 Dec 2010, 7:33, closed)

Who pissed on your cornflakes?

( Bats, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 8:11, closed)

Anyone who asks "who's winning" when one is watching a cricket test match.
Did you read the bit at the top? ;-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 8:19, closed)

Oy!
I take a great deal of pleasure in this, thank you very much.

Best thing to do is wait until they get to the bit where they mention the ashes, and ask why, if English cricket is dead, would we really want to win it back and would it become some kind of zombie sport.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 8:17, closed)

Cricket.
For the dull of mind in my opinion.

Seriously, it's even less interesting to watch then Darts or Snooker.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 8:49, closed)