My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
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rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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not the perpetator but the victim...Sitting in a lovely park in Leicester, romancing my now girlfriend, I found I needed to take a piss. Unfortunately the smallest, dirtiest and smelliest toilets in the world were the only one available to me at the time, so I took a deep breath and entered.
Standing at one of the two urinals was a affluent looking businessman in a nice suit. As I stood next to him he turned to me, winked and said "'ello mate." This worried me as he had broken the cardinal urinal rule: eyes forward, no talking. I was even more worried by the "schlup schlup" sounds coming from his groin area. In the same way you have to look at a car crash I had to look at what he was doing and had my fears confirmed: I had walked in on this guy and the end of a wank, and he was wanking into the urinal while looking at me. A quick shudder and he was done, I got another wink and a "thats better eh?" and he popped himself away and left. I have been afraid of public toilets ever since!
(, Wed 2 Jun 2004, 10:05, Reply)
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