My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
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rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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Not me, but a friend, who I will call John... and that IS his real name. Better not tell you his surname or I will get bollocked.
He got a new posh 'furnished' flat in Manchester somewhere. One of those minimalist jobbies with a wooden floor, couple of chairs and a small coffee table in the living room.
Anyway, the day he moves in he thought he'd celebrate with a wank. So he slaps some hardcore porn DVD on, sits back in his chair and starts stroking the pink tromboner.
Then his mobile rings. He answers it while still in mid-wank and carries on regardless, apparently close to climax. The guy on the phone says "John, what the FUCK are you doing?!! Everybody on the main road can see you!"
Apparently, there were no curtains, and you know how when you have the light on inside, it looks darker outside, so he thought..... dumb TWAT!!
They never spoke of it again.
(, Wed 2 Jun 2004, 18:15, Reply)
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