My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
(
rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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Nurses have the best storiesi used to hang out with a lot of nurses, they'd all worked in casualty.
Their stories:
some bint's wanked with a light bulb, poked it right up, she had a muscle twitch it broke.
an old dear came and sat in casualty for hours, evidently in pain, but wouldn't talk to anyone until it all got too much and she had to tell the doc she had a roast potato up her.
A full bunch of grapes. Up the front bottom. One by one. had to be tweezered out.
Not strictly wank, but couple doing biz in country, post-fun, girly decides its fun to pick a daisy and slide it down her bloke's peehole.
Daisies have hairs on stems which poke upwards towards bloom.
Flower came off in her fingers, stem lodged in willy.
Lots and lots of blokes coming with willy damage from the hose attachment of a brand of vacuum cleaner makers who neglected to tell their customers that about 5 inches down the hole, hidden in shadow, was a small sharp fan.
Not half as funny as their excuses for how they had their willy down a household appliance (shower, stairs, dressing gown, fell down, chance in a milion, vacuum left on, gown opened, chance in a million really wasn't it).
(, Thu 3 Jun 2004, 12:18, Reply)
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