My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
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rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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Wankers cramp.Right then. I was knocking one off in my room and had just reached the jester's shoes when I was struck with the most horrifying cramp. This was easily the worst cramp i had ever had, I could see the muscles moving under my skin like fucking snakes and I couldn't cry out too loud because all my housemates might come in and see me writhing around butt naked, covered in cum, in full lob and holding my legs. And weeping. So i just bit the pillow and endured. Within a couple of hours my legs were back to normal but covered in black bruises like i'd been hit with something. I've nver seen anything like it, or had worse cramps. Made me scared to wank for at least 3 days. Moral of this tale? If you feel like a wank is going nowhere, do not get the leg tensing in.
(, Thu 3 Jun 2004, 16:40, Reply)
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