Before I realized what a bitch she was...
I was trying woo her away from her man. I bought:

1. Pair of Gianni Versace shoes(designed by him before his murder). Which set me back about 3 grand.

2. Pair of some kind of rare silk(I forget the name) stockings. About 1500 dollars(maybe £600).

Did that work?

Like fuck it did.

That's when I realized Heather Mills would never give me the time of day.

I think I'm better off, but what a waste!
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 14:34, 9 replies)

If you'd thought ahead, you could've asked around, found someone in a similar position
who wanted the opposite shoe and stocking and gone halves.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 15:15, closed)

you bought her a 'pair' of shoes?

( Mr Nerdy-Speccy-FuckNuts Ouchy ouchy wa wa!, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 15:30, closed)

I think that's the joke

(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 15:44, closed)

Ah
I see.
( rofl harris, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 16:40, closed)

you should have bought her a plane
and a Ladyshave for the other leg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 15:56, closed)

Apparently Paul's still a bit shell-shocked about how much the divorce cost him
His lawyer had told him she didn't have a leg to stand on.

/hullcoat
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 16:13, closed)

He's kicking himself
but she isn't.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 16:29, closed)

Too soon, all of you.
And you, Cactus.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 17:03, closed)

Is it true that Sir Paul bought her a new false leg for Christmas?
Apparently she was a bit upset and demanded a 'proper' present.

"Don't worry," he said, "that's just your stocking filler".

Not sure, but I think it might not be true.
( Ghoti Fingers, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 18:04, closed)