Went to my brothers wedding recently.
I was only two days out of hospital, after having a shitload of metalwork taken out of my gammy leg.
If that wasn't bad enough, I had an abcess in my left side of my jaw, making me look not unlike John Merrick, and I generally felt like shit.

I struggle through the day, trying hard not to pass out from the pain of my leg and my face, and sweating like a sex offender at a womans shelter.

I think I've just about made it through the ceremony, and was just about to make my excuses and head back to the comfort of painkilling drugs and a nice warm duvet, when we get called outside for photos...

I managed to get to my feet and head outside, where there was a liberal covering of snow everywhere (did I mention, I'm on crutches, can't walk without them, and just love snow and ice..)

I just avoid a large ice patch, only to put my left crutch (the one I rely on most for support) onto a previously unnoticed patch of moss.

Cue one 16st, sweating, facially malformed cripple doing a shit 'Bambie On Ice' impression infront of the entire wedding party.

If the embarresment wasn't bad enough, I fucked my leg up again and had to spend the next two weeks in hospital with bone chips under my kneecap, and septicaemia....


I hate fucking weddings.
(chriswakey, Thu 14 Jul 2005, 16:32, Reply)