WeddingsAttending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in-fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us your wedding stories.
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chthonic, Thu 14 Jul 2005, 15:19)
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WeddingsI have a few disasters under my belt
Here goes:
1. GF's brothers wedding - gets himself hitched to some nutter whose family is loaded, posh but extremely friendly. It was the death throes of the relationship had started for me, so I wasn't up for being behaved. We had a hotel for the night, free bar etc etc etc. Started drinking before wedding,filled GF's cousins handbag with Minstrels from pub because I thought it was my GF's, got caught by her uncle who thought I was tea leafing, gave the groom a sugared almond, which he choked on just as the bride entered the church and he coughed through the ceremony. Come the reception I had a copious amount of Pimms and lemonade, which I chased with JD and coke, red wine, white wine and red wine. The meal was very fine with gorgeous Prawns (that may not have been completely clean) danced for a few hours and then i was sick, all over myself, redecorated the fine portaloos (with piped music) , the hotel reception, and their fine topiary (as long as that means bushes, and not monkeys) - GF had long lecture from father as to why she was seeing me - Later that month, she wasn't anymore.
2. Cousins wedding - Richmond Park hunting lodge - Red Wine, sat with Bro and GF, noticed couple next to me were very quiet so thought I would engage them in conversation about Cult TV, they said they had never seen The Prisoner, I subjected them to a half hour lambasting about how they should, and what failures they are for not doing so. Then after meal, and couple ran away to complain to my cousin about the arsehole she sat them with .(her hubby gawd bless him laughed - but then he also said he was "Pleased as Fuck" in his wedding speech - top bloke!) I then dragged the GF outside for a shag in the trees surrounded by scrubland and deer! Top Night!
3. Other cousins wedding, too much red wine (see a connection?) asked the band to play the Godfather theme, they did - i cried like a baby. Goon!
Apologies for length/Girth/Completely clueless on what to do with it.
(, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 14:37, Reply)
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