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This is a question Weddings Part II

Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.

Tell us more of your wedding stories.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
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Last of the Summer Wine:
It was their wedding night. Compo had waited for this night for a long time.
He was all nervous energy. He glanced over to Nora who was sweeping the floor.
"Come to bed," he said.
"I suppose you want to consummate our marriage?" she replied.
She studied him. She realised that resisting any longer was futile. She dropped the broom and sat beside him on the bed.
Compo ran his fingers through Nora's greasy locks.
"By 'eck you're gorgeous," he uttered into her ear.
"Do me up me ginnel," she whispered back.
Compo lifted up Nora's stained skirt and started to roll down her stockings.
"What you doing? Just pull down t'britches. My legs are freezin'," she cried.
As Compo pulled down her wind sail sized knickers, he whipped out his old boy, introduced it into her 'ginnel,' and started thrusting.
"Christ. I'm already flaggin' and I've haven't even busted me nut yet," whined Compo.

----End of sample----

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(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 13:50, 12 replies)
Stop this

(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 14:16, closed)
Eeeh that were right grand.
*Wipes away tear*
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 15:32, closed)
I hope you die of Ebola

(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 15:33, closed)
Me cat ran up 'er ginnel.

(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 15:56, closed)
"do me up me ginnel"
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 16:43, closed)
This actually an adaptation
In the original she says "Never mind me dirty legs, whop it up me".
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 20:48, closed)
"Chuck yer muck up me, chuck!"

(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 17:11, closed)

(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 19:06, closed)
... its funny how all the humour has been robbed from the image of the scruffy, pervy, molesty old man, these past few years
(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 20:00, closed)

(, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 20:59, closed)
It's like an antidote to Skagra.
And much funnier.
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 1:09, closed)

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