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This is a question Weddings Part II

Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.

Tell us more of your wedding stories.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
Pages: Popular, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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Cleggy's Wedding Night:
"Where do you want me gubbins?" said Cleggy.
"In me mouth," replied Pearl.
As Cleggy pulled out and placed his length into Pearl's mouth, he uttered, "Sweet Christ."
Howard bursts in, "Pearl!"
Load blown, Cleggy rolled over and wiped his penis with a flannel in the same fashion as a snooker player chalking his cue.
(, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 8:50, 4 replies)
I like this stuff, however I advise you to avoid mixing past and present tense, as it has a jarring effect on the narrative

(, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 9:28, closed)
I had to post and run, but fixed now.

(, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 9:45, closed)
'Chalking his cue'
Did it make a squeaky noise?
(, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 15:03, closed)
but the end was blue afterwards
(, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 20:38, closed)

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Pages: Popular, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1