i used to have many internet friends but i only met a few in real life
one is my best friend,
one is my hairdresser,
and the other one is my fiancee.

i do not go on the net that much these days due to policy changes by nazi-work bosses and fiancee distrusting internet friendships as she knows thats how we met (we were both in relationships then too).

in 2003, a year after i cancelled my msn/icq etc profiles i get an email from a girl i used to talk too. i ignored it. then i got more and more forwarded jokes and stuff so i blocked her. next i recieved an email saying it is over, weird internet girl has dumped me??, she hates me because i blocked her. over the next few weeks my email password kept changing, i had to reset it with one of those secret question things everytime. now knowing she has access to my emails i was a bit freaked out but got over it. then it got weird.

going downtown london one day i saw a girl looking at me and i thought it looked like the said girl, but she was from leeds, so i passed the thought off. i saw her again a few times but thought my mind was playing tricks on me until one night i noticed the automatic light in my garden came on. hoping to see a fox a peek on the window and i see a figure. fuck i think and grab my dads putter and wake my brother getting excited at facing a burgler. stepping into the garden communicating with my 3-wood wielding brother (in calvin klein tighty-whiteys) with army style hand signals we look to the trees/back fence for the intruder. i don't know where my bravery came from but i lept over the fence into the pitch black alleyway and could hear footsteps and some kind of scrathing coming from round the corner where people who live at the end park there cars. gripping the putter i tightly i sneak round the corner and in my shock i see the weirdo girl with a stone in her hand scratching "DIE U BASTA" into the car and everything made perfect sense. by the way - when we swapped photos i sent her a photo of my neighbour Dan's car (his Merc was better than my Ford Focus). she really had been stalking me. i had to give evidence to the police about her destroying my mates paintwork but i didnt want to press charges or get a restraining order. i talked to her and she was pretty sane. she told me she loved me?? and had been in london for 2 months living with her uncle. she followed me to work, she had seen my fiancee, my brother, my baby cousin. she followed me to Brighton on the train when i went there for the weekend. she even smoked the same cigarettes as i did after she collected my cigarette butts. in the end she said sorry and she went home and she has either forgotten me or she is very stealthy. but in the end i get to tell everyone i had a real life stalker and she was a right sort too ;)

Magic
( MagicallyInept Bored Sig., Mon 20 Mar 2006, 16:19, Reply)