I can't
masturbate unless there's an 'R' in the alphabet.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:34, 7 replies)

There isnt: t h e a l p h a b e t...not a single r. I guess if youre desperate you could be a chav and spell it alpherbet. Sell your soul for a decent wank?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:40, closed)

That's weird…
I HAVE to masturbate if there's an R in the alphabet.
(electricteeth, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:43, closed)

Funny, I can only do it if there's a T in the day
Today, Tomorrow, Yesterday...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:52, closed)

OMG
'Next Thursday' as well.
(username failed moderation, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:06, closed)

Weird
I can't masturbate unless I'm dressed in a leather gimp suit with a chain around my neck while reading the latest Saga magazine.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:04, closed)

And now you're banned from W H Smiths

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:23, closed)

Is that why Muslimists are so fucking angry?

( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 18:27, closed)