I'm not quite sure if it's a ritual, or just being banally anal
but sandwiches should be sliced thuswise according to their contents:

Horizontal slice: Cheese and pickle, Ploughman's, chip butty, crisp butty, bacon and so on. Big manly sandwiches dripping with testosterone. Their purpose is to fill your tummy-box with stodge, so hack a blunt knife through the middle and stuff it in your gaping maw.

Diagonal slice: Smoked salmon and cream cheese, tuna mayo, and fillings like hummus and carrot etc. Basically, anything that you would order if you were feeling a bit fancy, looking to diet or impress someone (if you like to impress people with sandwiches).

Cut into triangles: ONLY ACCEPTABLE AT BOG-STANDARD FUNCTIONS. Office buffets, school fairs, seminars on help desk management, volunteer meetings. If you make one for yourself you look like a sad person whose friends didn't come to the party.

A pox on those who do not comply.
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 12:02, 22 replies)

does a diagonal slice not also make triangles?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 12:27, closed)

Flawless logic.
I should have said 'four triangles' - can I edit without removing your post /noob
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 12:36, closed)

no, because then it makes me look unhinged.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 12:47, closed)

Ah
double fail then. I wouldn't want you to look like you're not in full possession of your hinges *shiftily checks hinges*
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:02, closed)

amongst other
things.
(username failed moderation, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:12, closed)

why such a hater?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:31, closed)

Like you need any help with that lolololulz

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:18, closed)

Ugh.

(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:22, closed)

Are you typing this from the toilet?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:44, closed)

Only when I talk to you
x
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:53, closed)

Is this thread...
Just Janet having a conversation with herself?
(SalmonFilter, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:22, closed)

Janet = B3ta.
The end.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:23, closed)

We are all a collective Janet
O_O
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:26, closed)

I'm not

( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:35, closed)

Racist.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:38, closed)

I prefer my prostitutes to be cut into triangles

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:34, closed)

Silly
everyone knows they must be julienned, then made into a tragic rosti.
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 13:52, closed)

No.
These are the rules of sandwiches:

2 rectangles: general purpose, adult sandwich; eat at home, take to work, picnics, etc.
4 squares: general purpose, children's sandwiches; eat at home, school lunchbox, picnics, etc.
2 triangles (adult) / 4 triangles (child): IT'S PARTY TIME!!!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 18:56, closed)

What about
1 big fuck off rectangle, too thick to bite properly, with fillings and all that jazz all hanging outta the sides?

That to me is a real sandwich. Anything else is just garnish.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 0:37, closed)

I never cut a sandwich
unless I'm sharing it; then I have to have the bigger piece.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 0:58, closed)

Nice to see
Shaggy and Scooby, on qotw.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 8:56, closed)

This made me do a proper lol

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 0:44, closed)