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This is a question Weird Rituals

David Cameron holds in his piss in order to concentrate. What weird borderline OCD shit do you do and why?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:17)
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Christmas Ritual
Didn’t really think of anything that I could contribute to QOTW until a conversation with my kids last night about presents reminded me of this.

Every Christmas day since I have had kids I will not let anyone in the family go downstairs to open their Christmas presents until the whole family is up. When the last person does eventually get up I will go down on my own to check if Father Christmas has been (We wouldn’t want to catch him midway through delivery as he might run off and leave half the gifts on his sleigh-ok I really use the time to turn on the tree lights/ put kettle on really but meh). Once my inspection has finished I pop upstairs and looking into the hopeful smiling faces of my kids I open my mouth and say..........

“He’s not been this year, may as well go back to bed”

Before throwing the duvet back over myself and pretending to drop to sleep again. Sadly the eldest has got wise to this (as well as the whole Father Christmas situation which is a bit gutting) but I think I have a few more years of it from the younger two.

I also spend way too much time thinking of gifts the kids could receive if they were naughty. I don’t see the need in using the threat of coal when the idea of a Barnsley FC supporting son receiving a Sheff Weds kit or the picky eater is left a jar of chilli’s (for some bizarre reason the youngest was scared he was going to receive a stack of knitting magazines) can seem like a much worse a fate.

I love being a dad!
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 12:44, 3 replies)
All well and good
except the football kit would be a £300 joke, so maybe not as effective.

£400, probably. Tossers.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 12:51, closed)
But I think the threat of it is enough. The kids know that they each have a certain amount of cash spent on them each year. He would not like the thought of any of that cash being spent on something he hates and also depleting the total of the money on good presents. He also knows not to attempt to call my bluff after living with me for so long.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:07, closed)
Nothing beats
a cup of warm water, after a Christmas Day lie in.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:32, closed)

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