I will get found out one day!
I wing it every day at work.
I don't mean to. I try really hard not to, but I have to.
As some of you know I am a British Sign Language (BSL) Interpreter.
Everyday I go into new situations with new people who use BSL or English in new and different ways with their own idiosyncrasy or vocabulary and I have to just try and keep up. I do love my job even though it's hard in any number of ways..
It can be with someone with learning difficulties, someone being told they are dying, a lecture on the historical relevance of the Quaker movement or how someone is going to divorce their partner and take their children and all their worldly goods.
And almost everyday I leave work going 'Fuuuuuuuuck' as I am not sure I have done justice to the language and communication that has occurred.
Thing is, I do get asked back. I have regular clients who have become friends. I know people respect me in my work and would try and book me before many others in my situation.
I know deep down I am great at what I do...but that feeling of FUCK won't go away.
However, every day, every minute I am wracked with insecurity about my own skills. I think I am a terrible interpreter, everyone else is better than me. I think it comes with the territory. We are constantly monitoring our own performance, and so we should be. Who wants someone who is going to tell a surgeon to cut off the wrong leg? Who wants to go to jail if I sign one wrong thing? Who wants to lose their kids due to my ineptitude?
Any second now someone is going to point at me and go 'YOU CAN'T DO YOUR JOB YOU ARE A CHARLATAN'
I won't be surprised, I am just waiting for it.
And I am going to go 'yeah, thank god, it only took you 12 years to realise, now I am free to fuck off and fuck up something else in life'
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 23:43, 25 replies)

I was hugely relieved when I first realised a lot of people feel this way.
And it's not even like I do anything useful.
( 4Q just lurking, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 23:47, closed)

You are free to fuck off and fuck up something else in life.

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 2 Apr 2013, 23:50, closed)

This
very much this.
( RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:01, closed)

I feel like that too
I'm sure I'm going to be caught out sometime soon.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Apr 2013, 23:57, closed)

Let's just give it all up
and make cakes in a tea shop somewhere. Great cakes.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 0:09, closed)

No good - Mrs Moon Monkey sells cakes, and she feels exactly the same way
Unless you can find a job wanking - which I'm sure we all feel we are really good at - we'll all just have to keep our heads down and hope nobody ever finds us out...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:01, closed)

It was a sad day when they stopped payments for sperm donations.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:28, closed)

Send me some and I can review this matter carefully :D

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 22:06, closed)

I imagine that your feelings of ineptitude are overshadowed tenfold by the relief of those various people when you are assisting them to communicate. Having a go tis far more noble than doing nothing.
( Ken Oath, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 1:07, closed)

^ What banana bender said.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:19, closed)

Those women who sign kids television? Totally winging it. Sometimes you can see the rising horror behind their eyes when they see Upsy Daisy about to open her stupid doll gob.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 8:35, closed)

But you're WONDERFUL The LOVELIEST HATD!
:D
*Panders*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 3 Apr 2013, 8:38, closed)

God. Stop sucking her off.
Everybody knows BSL is just miming and gurning.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 8:40, closed)

Yeah, but it's SEXY miming and gurning.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 3 Apr 2013, 9:04, closed)

I saw two young sign teachers get on a tube a few months ago.
Although they could talk and hear, the tube was too loud for them to chat sitting opposite, so they started signing to each other, and were very obviously discussing people in the carriage, which was fun, as it made everyone paranoid.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 8:56, closed)

If you come across another deaf surgeon
try pointing at the correct leg and making a "sawing a piece of wood" mime to avoid confusion.
Srsly though, great job you're doing.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:08, closed)

Please don't worry
90% of communication between people that can hear is body language and tone of voice. The words themselves are a very small part of what is communicated.

With deaf people, I would guess this is exactly the same, i.e. if you get the general thrust right, and convey the message as near as you can to how you understood it, then the message you transmit will be 90% accurate even if you got ALL the 'words' wrong. If you get a good number of them right, your message will be 99% there.

I think I'd be pretty happy if I could do my job 99% there or there-abouts. Some fucking hope!

Keep it up.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:50, closed)

"90% of communication between people that can hear is body language and tone of voice."
Oh really? Well that's email, sms and facebook fucked then, isn't it?
(ubergeekian, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 10:30, closed)

Oh man totally, I have no idea what I'm doing

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:21, closed)

Hello, Mrs Jones? It's about your husband, he popped in yesterday with muscle spasms in one of his biceps.
Anyway, I wrote out a prescription but as he was on the way out the door I told he probably had a week left to live. Oops, slip of the tongue - I meant to tell him he probably had a weak left arm. Sorry about that, these things happen though, what am I like LOL!! Bye now :)
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:27, closed)

Ha
Some woman wanted me to examine her bits today. I was like 'sorry, not really my area of expertise, come back any time you need your bum fingering though love, cheers'
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 22:45, closed)

Worst husband EVER.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 8:54, closed)

Dr Tewary?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 13:29, closed)

I shall not be visiting you for a prostate exam anytime soon then.

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 22:06, closed)

No, there is a very long waiting list for my services.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 22:47, closed)