media led fear, plus her boyfrind made her do it!
thought the media we each witness over 4000 violent crimes a year. even though 60% of us will not experience ANY crime of ANY kind in the same period of time.

the other 40% work in morrisons.

When I did my stint at the supermarket, I started about a week after one of the mangers was stabbed in the head with a screwdriver by a mental who didn't want to pay for fags.

Over the period of my employment at least one shoplifter a shift would be apprehended*. To be fair this was fun to watch as all the departmental mangers would dogpile the would be thief and put the boot in.

This wasn't really much good as most of the criminal activity went on the wherehouse. Behind closed doors those mild mannered shelf stackers had their own fight club, lived off stolen pick and mix, and played football with the most expensive items. Sadly this stopped after a wherehouse department night on the town got the entire staff arrested**, throwing the place into chaos the next day.

However a catalyst for my leaving was my part in having to help restrain a crackhead.

A skinny woman about five foot tall ran off with two bottles of JD and a customers purse. This waif of a woman took out two security guards with violent groin attacks. and was only stopped by three of the fattest till workers sitting on her (combined weight 65 stone). Despite this she was still struggling and screaming "its not my fault my boyfriend told me to do it!" . She manged to get her arm free, at witch point I grabbed onto it and forced it to the floor with all my weight on it. The source of her strength the became apparent as a still warm crack pipe was flicked from her tracksuit pocket.

The police arrived about 5 mins later and they knew her by name. With an officer on each arm they dragged her out the store while she was yelling "ive changed my mind, ILL PAY, ILL PAY. its all my bf's fault"

as my shift ended my mate showed up.

"how was your day?"

"not too bad, chips for lunch and I helped restrain a crackhead. I clock off in 5, wanna go down the pub and help draft my notice?"



*only supermarket in the area to not tag the booze

**not sure why, i think a mixture of drunk and disorderly, twoccing, and breaking and entering.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 12:10, 8 replies)

how can you.....
spell 'waif' and not:

mangers [manAger]
aprihended [apprehended]
wherehouse [warehouse]
reatrain [re-train]
manageged [managed]
apprent [apparent]
ive [i've]
ill [i'll]

sorry......it's a crime in itself
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 12:25, closed)

what Studentken said.
I didn't want to be the one to point it out (not exactly Wordsworth myself) but the spelling was truly shocking.

I must admit (and hence apologise for) thinking; No wonder you worked in fucking Morrisons!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 12:34, closed)

Pedants
You two pedants missed disordely and catalyst, and its restrain, not re-train.

Read it properly.
(twoheads Is currently broke on, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 14:44, closed)

not to mention
the heinous

witch (which)
and
boyfreind (boyfrIEnd)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 15:24, closed)

one word
dyslexia,


you cunts
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 17:34, closed)

That's five
actually.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 17:36, closed)

To be fair
Spelling isn't a necessary skill for a Chemistry student is it?
And remember, the joke (or in this case, story) is more important than technique (or spelling).

Though I have to side with himjim, buddy. That was five words. ;)

Nice story mate.
( Pointy Head poked another hole in my anorak on, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 18:21, closed)

Willenium mate
do your replies in Word then use a spellcheckificator. Unfortunately coz of these twats I was FORCED to re-read your post (in a respectful manner) and also spot twocking (should be twoccing) and "the dragged her out the store" presumably THEY dragged her...

And Crack head has no space...

I do this with the greatest respect, and will under no circumstances point out all your previous posts...

"Necessary" from top tips being a case in point.

If you choose to put my lights out I will understand.
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Fri 15 Feb 2008, 23:41, closed)