Oh alright, I'll do a drug one..
Some years ago, before my swift getaway from the sunny shores of blighty I sold a little puff. Well, little is a relative term, to the guy who supplied me I sold a little puff, to the several hundred people I sold too I was the *man*. (It's true, small town, 3 top men and I was one of them, that's a lot of business) For three years I delivered to the door on a weekly basis. Once a month I trekked to the big city to pick up. It was good money, tax free and not particularly hard work. Puff doesn't need to be advertised and the market never gets smaller. A little risky I will admit, 5-7 at HMP Somewhere if you get caught. But I never did. Call it luck, call it damn good sense, call it having nothing too do with twatty 16 year olds, call it what you want. I called it £80000 turnover and £40000 a year profit. The crime.. I was also Mayor of said town and witnessed many blatant lies told to the voter who deserved better.
Then I left the UK and moved to a country where drug dealers get shot, either by the local mafia or by the local old bill. The politicans are still lying bastards though!
(godisdove I like cheese, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 18:42, 3 replies)

That didn't phase me at all until..
..you mentioned you were the mayor. WTF?

I've had as *acquaintances* many dealers of so-called soft drugs, and your story rings very true, right down to the logistics and money involved; but I can't get over you being the mayor. Half the town's youth must have known! Surely that was a massive risk. Sure you didn't slip that bit in at the end for fun? Additionally I've never known street-level dealers over thirty in small towns (they generally give up or move further up the food chain to the big city/abroad) and most mayors are 40+, and most couldn't do their job stoned (I assume you partook yourself), let alone service 100 odd customers. If this is true you are a fucking legend. Of course I in no way condone your behaviour..
(lost, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 19:11, closed)

all true
I can't be to specific here for obvious reasons but it is all true. Mayor at 28, didn't service kids and went through an ounce of skunk a week. Then gave it all up to live with very fit gorgeous love bunny in foreign country. Where I don't have to work because cost of living is about one third of UK and I have shit loads of cash under the floorboards!
Being a Mayor is a pain in the arse. It is 10 pm on a Friday night, I am stoned stupid and wrapped around the outside of several pints. I do not give a wet fuck in a rabbit hutch about your wheelie bin. OK. Nor do I care about the pothole in your road or the state of your neighbours garden. Fuck off and phone me on Monday morning. I promise I will be interested. Right now I want to get hold of that probably underage blonde skinny thing by the pool table and you are getting in my way. Good times ....good times...
(godisdove I like cheese, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 2:10, closed)

I could only find news stories of one place in the country with a mayor at 28years old, back in 2002, thats some achievement if true, nevermind all the drug-related stuff too.
( MadAdamUk was last alive on, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 3:50, closed)