Pranking
This all started off when i joined my current employer.After about 2 months i started to get the hatred of two directors that my collegue and friend had.They could not direct a car down a one way street,One has one eye and is nearly deaf and the other well lets face it hes the same as lurch out of the adams family

They both use the same printer which we dont,So the usual game of who can fuk it up just as there printing started.They would come in load there paper bills into the printer and walk into the other office to press the print button.The game was to run over and change the font type and settings before it started printing ,this became to easy for us.Next it was glue the paper together as it was in a roll.

There we were sat opposite to each other mongy loads the paper and walks back into the office.Cue laughter as its a ticking time bomb,Starts printing grrrrrrrrrr then a snap.Christ its broke this started laughter that came with tears as mongy was confused,Cue his mongy mate one eye run in.Never before have you seen to men stare at a printer for so long till one eye says "someones sabataged this "

This daily boredom ritual of completely making there life hell contined which included my master plan.This was to superglue the roller just before it printed.This nackerd that up so they purchased another. "there the old ribbon type anyways.Next new printer was to get random objects placed into it,We loaded the rear of it with around 1 box of staples ,50 or so paper clips,ciggy and a rubber,a teabag, were all stuck in the printer on a daily basis.When the new one was not printing properly.One eye decided to turn it upside and shake it "incase there was something in there,cue one eye shaking the huge printer,with his man moobs bouncing about " a barrage of objects fell from it.

Many a day was spent with these fucktards master planning and waiting for the prank.Ahhh them were the days !!Sadly hes left the company now so its just me vs them,im still bored as hell.
(Uncle Ed is lurking around, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 10:57, 25 replies)

Please...PLEASE
Tell me that your pitiful grammar and spelling is some form of ironic dig at the way society has 'dumbed down'.

Every single mistake that could possibly be made in your post - you made it.

If the grammar badger reads this, it is very likely that she will kill herself, just for the opportunity to turn in her grave at this abomination on the eyes.
(Jam Rasta Geordie JMG's Jamaican cousin, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:10, closed)

At least 'Cue' was correct...
( IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:20, closed)

hmm
There were 3 "there"s that should have been "their"s, and one that should have been "they're". Not bad going.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:55, closed)

There should be a stats board
for most often committed crime-against-grammar in QOTW.
( IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:32, closed)

my favourite bit is...
"parshaly deaf"

roflolz!

I vote for more stuff written in dialect. Hav a clicks!
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:20, closed)

.
Since when has "illiterate" been a dialect?
(nonstopdancer, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:30, closed)

I didn't make it through the whole thing.
It makes my eyes bleed.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:22, closed)

I literally couldn't get past the first paragraph

( The Coast Of Yemen, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:24, closed)

moi ?
were the hells f7 lmfao
(Uncle Ed is lurking around, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:30, closed)

^^^

Sweet.spluffing.Jesus
(Jam Rasta Geordie JMG's Jamaican cousin, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:31, closed)

TL;DR version
We messed with the printer.
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:28, closed)

Try pasting the post in Word and running a spellcheck and grammar check
I also reread my posts back to myself, as if I were telling a story to someone else. It's not infallible, but it helps to make the words "flow" better.

By all means edit and repost, hopefully it'll make the post easier to read and allow the story to be conveyed.

Good luck.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:34, closed)

Good thinking batman !!!
I might as well let you b3tards edit yourselfs sorry.Go for it ladies and gentlemen my english lets face it is wank,A D for gcse

If not kick my arse and advise the punctuation fuck up.

Im half awake if thats an excuse !!! :-)
(Uncle Ed is lurking around, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 11:43, closed)

It's okay, not all of us are degree language students
Anything that helps the story shine through is constructive criticism.

The main thing is that you're not afraid to have a crack at it, for that you should be applauded.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:04, closed)

This made my brain go wonky!

If you can't sort out your English I fear you will for ever be stuck in jobs you hate where you feel it's appropriate to sabotage the work of the man who very kindly hired you even though you appear to be retarded.

Just a thought.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:01, closed)

Agreed.
If any of my employees ever showed this level of illiteracy, I'd find reason to persecute them out of the job.

I'm something of a bastard when it comes to things like this.

Also agreed that you should write your posts in Word and spell- and grammar-check them when you post. Otherwise you'll get the same reaction each time.

Welcome, nonetheless.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:23, closed)

Agreed
Yes well i think ive understood the lesson of use word first,since you guys are more intersted in the complete fuckup of the post rather than the story its self

Im hoping you kinda got the idea anyways.
(Uncle Ed is lurking around, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:29, closed)

You see
and I'm honestly just trying to help here, I 'read' the first paragraph, noticed there were already seven replies and thought 'Oh, this'll be fun!'

We're not all cunts here... but you'll get on much better if you put more effort into your language.

Get yourself a copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves

eatsshootsandleaves.com/

and enrich your life, and our QOTW experience.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:32, closed)

zOMFGlols
This's the bestpost sins that one wiv the man who tried to swing there cat and got a face full of shit.innit?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:18, closed)

wonky?
Hate was never mentioned sire!!!!
(Uncle Ed is lurking around, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:22, closed)

Speak English
Uncle Ed!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:27, closed)

Speak
I think you mean speak ENGRISH

iNnIt yo !
(Uncle Ed is lurking around, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:30, closed)

Word
and that.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:33, closed)

Hmmm
OK, so I'm not the only one who didn't understand that one! Phew! (innit)
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 12:33, closed)

Error
Do not parse go, do not collect £200.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 13:36, closed)