The twunt who was on before us at an open mic night in Southampton.
Talking Heads (the bar, not the band) had an open mic night where you had 10 minutes to do your set. We were due on at some point past half-way. The act before us walked on - a single chap with a guitar. Already, some people were getting up and moving to the bar. By the time he had finished saying 'I'm going to try and play in ten minutes four songs by the socialist icon Billy Bragg', everyone bar us had gone. From over a hundred to just the two of us.
The Mrs had to play Smelly Cat to get people back in from the bar.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 30 Dec 2010, 13:13, Reply)