Hope you don't mind this pearoast...
...I was about 15 and had just been approached by a girl at the Youth Club who said she fancied me and that she was also "on the pill."
It took me about 5 minutes to realize she wasn't referring to a cold and flu tablet and we proceeded to the local park (always deserted at night except for teenagers doing unspeakables).
So we disrobed a little and with me on top I proceeded to lose my virginity. Problem was that I thought you just inserted and waited...so I laid there *totally* motionless and after a couple of minutes she gave some encouraging movements which quite startled me as I feared she must be an epileptic or something.
It was very disappointing, but she was very nice about it and didn't dob me in to my mates.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 16:36, 5 replies)

Me mate once described sex with his ex as a pasty.
"A pasty?" asks I.

"Yeah, you know, a pasty. It just sat there."

You pasty :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 16:49, closed)

I think a pasty...
...would have satisfied her more.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 16:53, closed)

If a pasty is put in front of me it doesn't sit there very long.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 15 Jul 2010, 18:08, closed)

Do you seduce it?
Then whisk it away for a romantic holiday of sun, sea and sex?
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 11:10, closed)

That's why she should go on top.
That way she only has herself to blame if he sex is crap -- at least that's my plan.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 17:45, closed)