Twilight
Ooooh, where to begin. Obviously Vampires don't sparkle, and for the most part they're not whiny emo twats. I think that most of us, given eternal life and a fuckload of cash, would do something slightly more fun than mope around after some skinny lip-biter who...

Bollocks to this. Anyone can have a go at Twilight for doing it wrong. You know who's had it too easy? Meteorologists.

"Hahaha! We've got the easiest job in the world! All we have to do is say it'll be hot in June, July and August and shitty for most of the rest of the year, and when we get it wrong we blame the inherent unpredictability of weather patterns, which if anyone stopped to think about it makes the very essence of our job fundamentally nonsensical!!!"

FUCK meteorologists

with apologies to Randall Munroe
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 8:37, 15 replies)

Meteorologists
actually have a very difficult job, especially in the UK with its rapidly changing, locally variable maritime climate. Yes, weather patterns are inherently chaotic, but there's some short term order to the way they work. Given enough data, and a big enough computer to work it all out, short term (up to 3 day) weather forecasts can be pretty good these days.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 8:55, closed)

What about my post
made you think I was looking to embark on a serious discussion about the relative difficulty of meteorology?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:01, closed)

Nothing in particular
I'm just supporting the scientists!

(And I've no idea who Randall Munroe is, so I may have missed some joke)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:03, closed)

He's the creator of a webcomic (XKCD)
He started one strip by slagging off emos, then saying that it was just too easy. So he started slagging off computational linguists.

xkcd.com/114/
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:25, closed)

Ah, OK, thanks
I've seen a few XKCDs, but didn't realise he was the creator.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:33, closed)

I'm A Member Of The Worldwide Brotherhood Of Meteorologists....
...And we don't like to brag, but we actually steer the winds. "In Hampshire hurricanes hardly ever happen": well, we'll see about that!
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 8:56, closed)

I want to be a meteorolololgist in Los Angeles.
Easiest fucking job in the world ever.

"Today it's going to be hot and sunny. Right - that's me done, cheque, please."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:08, closed)

Yeah, but, right,
unless Hollywood blockbuster movies have lied to us, which is unthinkable, being an LA weatherman is a ticking timebomb of a job. It's only a matter of time before you have to read out the words "not to worry you, folks, but there's a FUCKING VOLCANO/EARTHQUAKE/HURRICANE/TSUNAMI scheduled for 2pm today. Right, that's me done, cheque please"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:13, closed)

it's slightly more complex than that
"In June, it will be kind of cloudy"

otherwise you've got it bang on
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:29, closed)

Scorchio!
(Heggy, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:57, closed)

I'm no meteorologist
But I'm pretty sure it's raining bitches.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 9:41, closed)

I'm always entertained by these comments
Yes, the vampires sparkle in it, this is shit.
However, on the whiny emo side, that seems to mostly have been invented for the films, as in the books he's mainly a cheeky sod, and quite funny.
Plus, it's entertaining in how vicious it actually is. Buffy/Blade stab a vampire, they disappear into dust. In that series, they have to be physically ripped apart, then burned. Toasty!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 12:38, closed)

Dude
You've read the books?

In fairness, I read the first one to see what the fuss was all about, and determined that the fuss had been created by idiots. Also read the second as Ms Foxtrot assures me the fourth one is by far the best, but I can't bring myself to do it. The first two books are bloody awful, badly written, predictable guff
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 12:44, closed)

Yep, read all 4
I'd like to point out it was in desperation, I was hideously bored.

But I like the characters in them. And your missus is right, the 4th one is superb. As is her other one, "The Host"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 14:37, closed)

I think this is the first time I've ever seen DF out-gayed right to his face.
Good work.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 12:24, closed)