Monkeys...lots of monkeys*
*may not be free
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Sat 4 Sep 2004, 14:41, archived)

Well, of course they're not free.
You've got them chained to hundreds of typewriters...
( Chrico is a bounder and a cad, Sat 4 Sep 2004, 14:42, archived)

FREE THE MONKEYS!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 4 Sep 2004, 14:45, archived)

I shall speak to the
organ grinder pronto.
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Sat 4 Sep 2004, 15:13, archived)

Ahh, but the trick is...
that you apply for a government grant to test the old monkeys typing shakespeare claim and then just put them to work as you stat counters

Then just report back to the government and say, nope they were wrong, oh and all your monkeys died

Not that I've done this before or anything....
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Sat 4 Sep 2004, 14:45, archived)

Of
course you haven't...



monkey murderer
( Chrico is a bounder and a cad, Sat 4 Sep 2004, 14:46, archived)

See we have different concepts of free here
Mine are free in that they cost me nothing
They are also free in the sense that they can do whatever they like - as long as it is statistics and typewriters (and counting of statistics and entering of them on typewriters)

And if they die of natural causes...its not murder...

Again, not that I have done this before...
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Sat 4 Sep 2004, 14:49, archived)

Indeed.
Natural causes.
I mean, it's perfectly natural for them to die if you load them into a giant cannon and fire them at a wall.
( Newington, Sat 4 Sep 2004, 14:57, archived)

Hmmmm
Did you win with that defense?
If you did, I have a case coming up because of my attempt to reenact the original Lemmings and I may have some work for your lawyer....
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Sat 4 Sep 2004, 15:01, archived)