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you like battenburg

(, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:24, archived)
shut up,
I'm being needlessly controversial.

It's the marzipan that makes it, I reckon. The sponge I could take or leave. Unless I've eaten the marzipan. You can't get a slice of battenberg and just eat the marzipan, that would be rude.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:26, archived)
Battenburg is the generic choice for granny's everywhere.
It's about as imaginative as chocolate digestive.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:29, archived)
I think that's most of its appeal,
it's such a wonderfully twee cliche.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
what's Jean-Luc Picard's favourite cake?
Battenborg.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
I'd have thought that would be his least favourite.
Waiter: What sort of pastry would you prefer, Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise?
Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise: Make it choux.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
oh the borg outside are frightful
while inside is so delightful
as the warp drive starts to glow
make it so make it so make it so
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
Engorge!

(, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:53, archived)
Eventually, when I meet a girl special enough...
... I'm going to sit with her in a posh resturant (maybe TGI Fridays), get Patrick Swaizy to walk up to us, point his finger, and go 'engage', then I'll bring out the ring and say "Wanna make it so?".

The ring will have LEDs built in.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:54, archived)
Patrick Swaizy?
What?
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:58, archived)
Ohh, Patrick Stewart.

(, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
just as well I'm here,
you could have made a right fool of yourself in front of the girl of your dreams.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:03, archived)
*Phones up Patrick Swaizy*
Patrick.... yeah', yeah', fine. Listen, you know that thing... well... slight problem. Yeah', sorry mate.
(, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:05, archived)