The thing with toast
is that it should be a very light golden colour, not brown.

People who like really brown toast are scum and stupid and worst than Hitler. Some of them interfere with children. It's a disgrace.

I like toast.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

I had a GF once who thought you cooked toast by burning it and then scrapping it to reveal the toast
She didn't realise her toaster had settings....
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

Did you beat her to death ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Her thick skull would have dented my baseball bat.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

with a baguette

( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

if you will drive the sunshine bus

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Dont knock it
they're usually game, and a happy meal at McDonalds is a much cheaper date than most girls.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

I could hold out for a happy meal?

( Batsgirl, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Depends, you'd have to eat it naked
with your nethers being lapped by pugs
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

*bokes*
the Happy meal butter dog
( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

I just came twice.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

She was actually outrageously pretty, hence she didn't have to work hard at school or her personality.
She made Paris Hilton look like a genius. Guuuh, god it brings back bad memories of when Chip and Pin came in she used to shout it out to the cashier in shops when asked. *face plams*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Are you Brian from Family Guy, and was your girlfriend Jillian?

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

Jilian actually had a bit of charm with her stupidness :)
I've just got terrible taste in girls.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

I totally support Goatworrier's stance in this area

(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:57, archived)