Toast ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Where?

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

In my digestive system at the moment.
But I could have been referring to "TO DAVE GORMAN AND ALL WHO SAIL IN HER !"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

Up your chuff.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

WHO ELSE BUT MoT!

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

Stop bullying me.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

ONLINE?

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

and offline.
I know that was you.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

It'll never hold up in court

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

If you could put bread in
then fire out toast 30 seconds later, I could get you £1,000 a week in the West End.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

The difficult bit is holding the mini grill with my flaps
I might have to invest in sellotape.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

Dude
you are so hot the bread will just toast on your fanny.

because, like, you're really hot. Like, your fanny is.

And not cause you have the clap or something like that
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

I've located a copy of "HELP MY PUSSY'S ON FIRE 11!"
Turns out it's not an instructional video and the case smells of shame.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

*comes from side of the monitor*
MOOOORTAL KOMBATTTTTTT!!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

I do an AWESOME impression of the Mortal Kombat announcer

( SuperMatt, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

I bet you have a wobbly teenaged voice like
"I reAALyy FAAAncYY y-y-y-yyooOOUooooooooOOoo"
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

To all the friends we've known and all the one's we're yet to know.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

Stroke.

( Jobe, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

You heartless bastard
I had a massive one yesterday, now my face looks like that woman who got shot with a gun and survived and now goes on telly because she's slightly less weird looking than she was before.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

That bird from Bo Selecta?

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

Quagmire's sister.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

ha ha

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

Apparently that's all just spare skin
just in case, you know... she needed some more.
( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

it's probably going to be needed for skin grafts
after the peasants set fire to her barn
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

*real life lol*

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

She reminds me a bit of Captain Wow
but reflected in a spoon.
( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

only a bit mind
www.flickr.com/photos/brianftang/410057722/
( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Yeah, two years and five stone ago.
Thanks, though.

Maybe if I lose all the weight I'll find an obnoxious little wimp under it all.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

You're welcome
At least you don't look like that creepy kid from the Secret Garden.
The one that hates 'The spores!'

like me.
( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

I don't look like that any more either.
I quite like the way I look now, which is a very good thing. I used to pay attention to people like you when I was younger, which is half of the reason why I comfort ate, but now all of the insults bounce off because I'm happy, for once.

Sorry. You'll have to find someone else to pick on. I'd say make it someone your own size, but I'm not sure if it's such a good idea, you hanging around a scout hut.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

All I read there was
FAT MENTAL
( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

you are a terrible person seb
terrible
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

I weep into my greasy pillow every night

( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

First actual LOL in about 3 years

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

Is that you or the sister ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

you've lost 5 stone in 2 years?
that's quite a lot.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

Depression and stress will do that to you.
Cigarette time.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

That's nothing.
I lost 100 pounds on the horses
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

I've lost nearly 8 stone in 11 months

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

I lost 8 moths under a stone !

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

Depends on how fat you are
If you're 15 stone overweight it's easy to lose 5 stone, it's when you're 3lbs overweight that it's difficult.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

One of the guys off Peep Show made me laugh with one of his Twitter updates:
WOAH - an actual face/off style transplant. I presume they only come in 'rough as fuck'
( Jobe, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

As a result of this, I have added most of the cast of peep show
I fucking love alan johnson.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

I've had some, thanks,
There was peanut butter. SMOOTH.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

The thing with toast
is that it should be a very light golden colour, not brown.

People who like really brown toast are scum and stupid and worst than Hitler. Some of them interfere with children. It's a disgrace.

I like toast.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

I had a GF once who thought you cooked toast by burning it and then scrapping it to reveal the toast
She didn't realise her toaster had settings....
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

Did you beat her to death ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Her thick skull would have dented my baseball bat.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

with a baguette

( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

if you will drive the sunshine bus

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Dont knock it
they're usually game, and a happy meal at McDonalds is a much cheaper date than most girls.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

I could hold out for a happy meal?

( Batsgirl, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Depends, you'd have to eat it naked
with your nethers being lapped by pugs
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

*bokes*
the Happy meal butter dog
( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

I just came twice.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

She was actually outrageously pretty, hence she didn't have to work hard at school or her personality.
She made Paris Hilton look like a genius. Guuuh, god it brings back bad memories of when Chip and Pin came in she used to shout it out to the cashier in shops when asked. *face plams*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Are you Brian from Family Guy, and was your girlfriend Jillian?

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

Jilian actually had a bit of charm with her stupidness :)
I've just got terrible taste in girls.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

I totally support Goatworrier's stance in this area

(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

I've got Special Flakes at home
I should have had some.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

Is that what you get
when a mong has Eczema ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

I bought them for the name
but they're actually quite nice.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

They don't make you thin on their own.

( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Oh, Wormyface.
It's a wonder I'm not single like your fly self.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

I like how you respond to a fatjoke online

( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

In which film was it
where "toast" was used as the word to test the sound level?
( turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

Interracial otters 6

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Breakfast at Tiffany's?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

I'll think you find that in that it was
"I love it when a plan comes together"
( turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Misson Impossible.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Ah yes
of course.
Thank you
( turb0t, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

You got Marmite?

( BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

*wedgies*
I have now
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

give it back
*hits with wet fish*
( BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

ooh, yes please.
with plenty of butter, and a cup of tea.
( Batsgirl, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Tea is the devils piss

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

I put sugar and milk in it too.

( Batsgirl, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

Marmalade or death

( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

bitter bitter Dundee marmalade
made from orangepeel and brine.
( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

Brine?!
Salty marmalade yuk.
( BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Any other kind is gay

( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

You calling my marmalade gay?

( BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

staing a fact
GAYBOY
( WormuIus, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Right
*rolls up sleeves*
( BindiBaji, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

FOR SALE
www.toast.com/
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 8 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

It's what I'd rather have than see a ghost,
as that's the thing I fear most.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

I just had some very lightly done toast with butter
I sliced it in two and made a sort of sandwich out of it, like a hot butter sandwich.

It was ace.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:04, archived)