A girl asked me to piss on her on Friday night,
true story but taken out of context.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

Was she on fire / stung by a jellyfish / joking?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

I was in bed asleep at about 2:30am she came in with my housmate and my neighbours
and woke me up by jumping on my bed. After she went in the living room with the others I went to the toilet and she said "don't piss in there piss on me"

nut
job
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Can I move in with you?
I'll piss on her if it happens again.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

nope,
2 bed flat and you're not sharing my bed.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

I'll curl up at the foot of the bed and guard you from evil,

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

What fucking children.
I'd have been very annoyed. I hope you beat the shit out of your housemate for being such a complete cock end, letting people into your bedroom to touch your stuff.

Jesus, I'm actually angry FOR you.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

Meh, fairly amusing turn of events
and he was apologetic the next day.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

I couldn't deal with teenage prickery like that, I really couldn't.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

I'm going to break into your house at 2.30 am, touch your stuff,
then piss on you.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I apologise for chasing you around whilst naked and brandishing a cutlass, then.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

... would that happen?
I'm going to have to go in armed. We can have a sword fight.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

Glue a butter knife to your cock.

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

Break into my house, I grab sword and try to get you out.
Break in during the summer, I don't wear stuff to sleep in. Bish bash bosh.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

Hello nurse

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

More Silent Hill than Vivid's finest.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

Your house is like Silent Hill?
I bet you host some awesome halloween parties!
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

:D

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

Excellent news.
I'll bring a film crew with me, if that's ok?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

Early 20's prickery.
Did seem a bit "student house" but oh well I didn't have to go to work the next day.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

*argues* no, that's teenage prickery.
I don't care how old PHYSICALLY the bell end that did it is. I'd still have told him to get the fuck out of my sight until his nads dropped or move back in with his obviously piss-poor parents.


But then I get really irate about that sort of thing, and am a stroppy little cunt. :D
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

I can't really blame him,
All I heard him say was "I don't know if he's in" then my door was open the light was on and there was a girl flying towards my bed.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Ugh. Thank fuck I don't live with anyone except the wife any more.
Poor you, chompy. Even if you don't think so.

(I know you're a lad and some sexists frown upon it, but I'd have punched the fuck out of whatever whorish cunt flew onto my bed).
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

Just one of the reasons i'm glad I rented privately this year
Although i'm a student, i'm an old man at heart. I like to be tidy, clean and in bed by midnight!

Living on your own can be a bit lonely mind.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

I'd rather live with farmyard animals than one of my current housemates.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

I have had experiences with horrible housmates in the past.
I'm pretty easy going really, I just don't feel the need to get dressed up like a twat, drink stupid quantities of snakebite and vomit on the highstreet like the average student here does.

Living where I do also has another downside, I have to work cocking hard to earn enough to rent on my own. Prices are extortionate down these parts.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

In Loughborough everything is cheap as chips.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

I was looking the other day
I found studio flats including bills in the golden triangle for £75pw

I'm paying £550pcm at the moment for a 1 bed flat and I have to pay bills on top!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

PSYCHOCHOMP LIKES IT WHEN GIRLS WEE ON HIS FACE

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I bet you can guess the girl,
the one I'm not obsessed with beggining with L
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

I guessed from the use of the phrase "nut job"
She's forgiven everyone then.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

She blamed it all on a facebook error.
yeah right.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

*sniggers*
Yeah, of COURSE. Lol she is mental.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

how was your weekend?
this stuff also happened to me www.b3ta.com/talk/6158181
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

Oh Chompy
*Makes "wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaaah" noise*

Was it her giving out her number?

My weekend was weird, bit awkward having the man's best mate round here being sad a lot. His wife finally told him she didn't want to be with him last night. Yeah, four days of torture because she didn't have the balls to do it quickly. She is quite possibly no longer my friend because of this.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

yep, after he asked for it.
Then after he left she came over to talk to me and I turned away and went to the bar. meh
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

Experience?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

I often post him sealed cups of wee.

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

How come I don't get stuff like that?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Because you're not a member of my official whore fanclub

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

Add some context

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

See above,
drunk girl, who is a bit lolmental.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

Ah yes.
I AGREE WITH CAPTAIN WOW
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

WISE WOMAN.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Was she on fire?
Oh balls. Damn you MoT.
( Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

was she south african, and asking you to replace her toupés on her?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:41, archived)