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I got my first randomburn on Saturday.
HURRAH. I've not listened to it yet though. This whole process is very exciting.

I've got a bit of lolreallife drama going on at the moment and it's shit.

Tell me things to cheer me up, or make up secrets and lies...
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:33, archived)
Cheer up, could be worse.

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:34, archived)
NEAR THE TOP
photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v285/223/55/536917351/n536917351_996080_6437.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:03, archived)
What does the semi-circle above symbolise?
I put it to you, the fat internet. That this is a cult insignia.
Let's look away.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:04, archived)
bit nsfw there

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:05, archived)
Dogs trying to eat peas is fun to watch

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:34, archived)
i bet that's true
but i doubt you've experienced it first hand
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

nothing's authentic anymore so who cares
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:14, archived)
I was very disappointed with randomburn last year so this year I'm going to be the one disappointing people.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
I applaud this stance.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
Shameful
behaviour.
(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)
That made me do a lol
Has he been learning from Brazilians?

EDIT: This is still funny www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgfRCa71Kmw
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:51, archived)
I think that's still the best.

(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)
OH SCOTLAND!
The poor man's Portuguese league.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:51, archived)
If you're bored, check out
some of the goals of the season from the Dutch league. Some absolute crackers.
(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:57, archived)
I trust this has been pre-screened.
I'd hate to see McClaren and his rosatia.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:59, archived)
I have checked.
He does not feature.
(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:10, archived)
Hahaha
oh dear
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)
I think the other guy should have been brought back on and the other guy should be sent off and get a 5 match ban

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)
His club have banned and fined him apparently.
And he had to make a public apology. I like the Rangers fans in the background. They're about two feet away and still think he actually hit him.
(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:58, archived)
I think they were saying "YEEE CALL DAT A HEEEEDBUTT?!!? I SHOW YOO A GLASGOW KISS!"
*boks granny next to them*
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:59, archived)
Or be Hatton's next fight

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:58, archived)
You'd never guess that the people in the comments section were scottish.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:57, archived)
have you filled a cd case with meat paste?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:40, archived)
There are people on this board that would LOVE a cd case full of meat paste.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:42, archived)
It's so true.
:(
OH INTERNET..
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:43, archived)
HI JMG
How's the bald mum dole?
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)
I'm having an excellent day, walletwise. I've also managed to get my hands on very important technology.
img149.imageshack.us/img149/6873/jmgdole.jpg
..and there's been limited fat moaning.
Splendid.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)
haha
I'm so pleased to hear the status quo has not been unbalanced
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)
only shippams
none of that own brand muck
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)
Apparently
shippams paste jars are the most removed object from the the anus.
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)
HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)
I know a couple of GPs
It seems they are the perfect shape for trying to put piles back in

TRUFAX
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:54, archived)
This is every shade of wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:54, archived)
Tell me about it
It makes me snigger everytime I pass the sandwich spreads tho
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:56, archived)
It says so
on the adverts.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:54, archived)
She put them there.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:54, archived)
Not penises or fingers?
I'd expect it to be penises or fingers.

Penises or fingers.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:09, archived)
I'd think poo.

(I helped save b3ta! nick the greek, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:13, archived)
You always think poo
you Greeks invented buggery.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:21, archived)
You're welcome

(I helped save b3ta! nick the greek, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:29, archived)
NO ONE'S GOT IN TOUCH WITH ME ABOUT A FUCKING RANDOM BURN

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
I fucking well did.
I GAZZED everyone their addresses on Wednesday night and it took me three and a bit bastard hours to GAZ 97 people.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
Thank you for doing it
I have my cds and nice cases all ready.

Now just need to burn them and send them off tomorrow
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:03, archived)
Washing your hair with a mixture of orange juice
and double cream will prevent dandruff and leave a glossy shine.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
Or make some sort of Orange fool on your head

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)
Jodie Marsh?

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

Jodie Marsh Blue Star
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:42, archived)
You're not a fool.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:43, archived)
I bought you flowers once but I don't know where you live.
So I put one flower from the bouquet on every reference to "blue stars" in the real world that I could find.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
Like a bruised anus?

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:36, archived)
is that what blue star means?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:36, archived)
I made mine
and it is fucking epic.

THE EXCITEMENT.
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
I made mine
and may send it anonymously...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:44, archived)
I bet my life's worse than your life.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)
A girl asked me to piss on her on Friday night,
true story but taken out of context.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
Was she on fire / stung by a jellyfish / joking?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)
I was in bed asleep at about 2:30am she came in with my housmate and my neighbours
and woke me up by jumping on my bed. After she went in the living room with the others I went to the toilet and she said "don't piss in there piss on me"

nut
job
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:41, archived)
Can I move in with you?
I'll piss on her if it happens again.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:41, archived)
nope,
2 bed flat and you're not sharing my bed.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)
I'll curl up at the foot of the bed and guard you from evil,

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)
What fucking children.
I'd have been very annoyed. I hope you beat the shit out of your housemate for being such a complete cock end, letting people into your bedroom to touch your stuff.

Jesus, I'm actually angry FOR you.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:43, archived)
Meh, fairly amusing turn of events
and he was apologetic the next day.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:44, archived)
I couldn't deal with teenage prickery like that, I really couldn't.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)
I'm going to break into your house at 2.30 am, touch your stuff,
then piss on you.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)
I apologise for chasing you around whilst naked and brandishing a cutlass, then.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)
... would that happen?
I'm going to have to go in armed. We can have a sword fight.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:48, archived)
Glue a butter knife to your cock.

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
Break into my house, I grab sword and try to get you out.
Break in during the summer, I don't wear stuff to sleep in. Bish bash bosh.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
Hello nurse

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)
More Silent Hill than Vivid's finest.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)
Your house is like Silent Hill?
I bet you host some awesome halloween parties!
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:57, archived)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:58, archived)
Excellent news.
I'll bring a film crew with me, if that's ok?
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:01, archived)
Early 20's prickery.
Did seem a bit "student house" but oh well I didn't have to go to work the next day.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)
*argues* no, that's teenage prickery.
I don't care how old PHYSICALLY the bell end that did it is. I'd still have told him to get the fuck out of my sight until his nads dropped or move back in with his obviously piss-poor parents.


But then I get really irate about that sort of thing, and am a stroppy little cunt. :D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
I can't really blame him,
All I heard him say was "I don't know if he's in" then my door was open the light was on and there was a girl flying towards my bed.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)
Ugh. Thank fuck I don't live with anyone except the wife any more.
Poor you, chompy. Even if you don't think so.

(I know you're a lad and some sexists frown upon it, but I'd have punched the fuck out of whatever whorish cunt flew onto my bed).
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)
Just one of the reasons i'm glad I rented privately this year
Although i'm a student, i'm an old man at heart. I like to be tidy, clean and in bed by midnight!

Living on your own can be a bit lonely mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
I'd rather live with farmyard animals than one of my current housemates.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)
I have had experiences with horrible housmates in the past.
I'm pretty easy going really, I just don't feel the need to get dressed up like a twat, drink stupid quantities of snakebite and vomit on the highstreet like the average student here does.

Living where I do also has another downside, I have to work cocking hard to earn enough to rent on my own. Prices are extortionate down these parts.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:03, archived)
In Loughborough everything is cheap as chips.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:04, archived)
I was looking the other day
I found studio flats including bills in the golden triangle for £75pw

I'm paying £550pcm at the moment for a 1 bed flat and I have to pay bills on top!
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:09, archived)
PSYCHOCHOMP LIKES IT WHEN GIRLS WEE ON HIS FACE

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)
I bet you can guess the girl,
the one I'm not obsessed with beggining with L
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)
I guessed from the use of the phrase "nut job"
She's forgiven everyone then.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:48, archived)
She blamed it all on a facebook error.
yeah right.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)
*sniggers*
Yeah, of COURSE. Lol she is mental.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)
how was your weekend?
this stuff also happened to me www.b3ta.com/talk/6158181
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)
Oh Chompy
*Makes "wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaaah" noise*

Was it her giving out her number?

My weekend was weird, bit awkward having the man's best mate round here being sad a lot. His wife finally told him she didn't want to be with him last night. Yeah, four days of torture because she didn't have the balls to do it quickly. She is quite possibly no longer my friend because of this.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:59, archived)
yep, after he asked for it.
Then after he left she came over to talk to me and I turned away and went to the bar. meh
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:01, archived)
Experience?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)
I often post him sealed cups of wee.

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)
How come I don't get stuff like that?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)
Because you're not a member of my official whore fanclub

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)
Add some context

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)
See above,
drunk girl, who is a bit lolmental.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:43, archived)
Ah yes.
I AGREE WITH CAPTAIN WOW
(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:44, archived)
WISE WOMAN.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:51, archived)
Was she on fire?
Oh balls. Damn you MoT.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)
was she south african, and asking you to replace her toupés on her?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:41, archived)
Cheer you up?
Your birthday card arrived at my house on Saturday. Mail Fail.

Come and have a cuddle, lady.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
OMGLEZCUDDLES !!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)
YEShopefully.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)
*CUDDLES*

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:01, archived)
\o/

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:13, archived)
I'm sending mine off tomorrow
It's just a CD and a link to follow to the
SECRET ONLINE TRACKLIST.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:38, archived)
I've got to print the covers for mine yet.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)
Are we supposed to do that?

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)
SECRET ONLINE cover

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:40, archived)
SERIOUS BUSINESS

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:42, archived)
Dunno, I am.
I doubt many will like the music I have to offer, so at least I can placate them with pixels.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:40, archived)
They can have a CD case. That's as far as I'm going.

(I helped save b3ta! Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:42, archived)
If anyone else participating in the random burn wants to see it they can gaz me.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:40, archived)
I had some lovely wine on saturday called Kiss the Devil. It was made with chili peppers.
My first thoughts after tasting were arghohmyfuckinggodI'mdyingwhatastupidthingtodrinkargh
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)
i'm making mine on friday
so i will say sorry to all the people waiting for me

SORRY
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)
randomburn
a fag burn you're not expecting?
(I helped save b3ta! 100% kitten better than ever, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:41, archived)
Mine are sat on my desk waiting to be posted
Will probably have to do it on Thursday as I have exams all day tomorrow and Wednesday.

Yours should be with you by the weekend Blue Star. Cheering for you?
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:42, archived)
i'm not sure i could add anything to this thread to cheer you up, or not, sorry, no offence
great
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)
Are you tying it every time
or copying and pasting?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)
if buy tying you mean typing, then yes i type my forum posts out one at a time, if you mean something else then i'm sorry i don't understand, my fault, or not, no offence
great times
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)
CHOPPED UP DOGS

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)
forum banter, great times

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:56, archived)
I'm doing mine when I get back from 'Viet'dam
Whoever gets mine will probably get the best one. They get bonus hand drawn pics and personal verbal self help tape dictated by me.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)
Every one of mine gets a special gift with the cd*
*Random object off my desk and an obscene doodle.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)
*prays for a stapler*

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:00, archived)
I'll staple your cock to your eye so you end up pissing yourself blind
Also, we're talking anything that can fit into an envelope, like plectrums and kittens.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:05, archived)
I'm hoping for the monitor

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:06, archived)
i want one of yours!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:05, archived)
One of mine only lives about a 20 minute drive from me
I want to know who's list I'm on :(
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)
real life drama?
I told you that dogging site was not a good place to go,how many people `walking their dog` thought you were a child?
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:02, archived)
it's my birthday
the whole office gathered around and presented me with a card and gift. I'm still blushing. I may never recover. I've only been in this office for three weeks.
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:04, archived)
bukkake cake

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:06, archived)
They all want to slip you a length.
Even the women.

Nay, ESPECIALLY the women.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:08, archived)
:D
Seems like a good place to work
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:09, archived)