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Use fire.
Kids hate it.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:31, archived)
Really, you've not met normal kids then.
Mine love it, they discovered lighters and paper the other day.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:34, archived)
Oh, they love it when it's them burning wee bits of paper.
When you're charging at them with a sod of turf dipped in petrol, set alight and stuck on a pitchfork and screaming "FUCK OFF OR I'LL BURN YE" they'll scarper pretty sharpish.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:35, archived)
hahahaha
I have no petrol sadly.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:38, archived)
As long as you've got a pitchfork you should be able to work something out.
And if you've no pitchfork then your children should be taken into care.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:40, archived)
I have a rake with nails in it.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:42, archived)
I suppose we'll let this pass, what with the recession and so forth.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:44, archived)