Dear internet.
Today I put the TV in the garden and we watched the grand prix whilst having some alcoholic drinks.

How are you enjoying the sun?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

No doubt the internet will come up with some way to criticize you for this

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

I'm still in the garden doing a report.
good times.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

I imagine you with a string vest on and your feet in a childs paddling pool.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

no paddling pool this time,
or a vest. I'm topless... online.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

I hope you're wearing sun cream.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

Are you being Mother today?

( jenpots, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

Can be.
I unfortunately have none, so I will be wearing long sleeves outside.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

I was.
My housemate didn't. He is now very very two tone.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

hahaha
silly tit.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

They were taking the piss out of me for covering up and using sun tan lotion.
I win.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

Well, they'll get skin cancer.
Good for you.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

Make sure you get reason to touch the exposed red bits over the next few days.
Bump into them and the like.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

Scratch it. That's the worst. Or slapping.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

You need to be subtle.
Oops sorry, it was an accident.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

Nah.
At silverstone last year I got completely ruined (I was inside the tent, but it was a shit tent and I got sun burn inside it) and the one who was burned today didn't bully me much.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

But having laughed at you for taking precautions, you should remind them.
Last year doesn't count, as you should be protected in a tent.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 17:02, archived)

I'm not.
I'm working in a room with no windows, you terrible cunt.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

it's probably raining in Ireland
because god hates your country.
(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

No, it's a lovely day.
But yes, God does hate us. That's why he invented the saxons.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

and blight

(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I presume by "blight" you mean a devastating parasitic life form that destroyed our country?
The scientific term for this is "the Brits."
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

you'd still be playing fiddles and singing in delapidated buildings, getting drunk any way you can every night if it wasn't for us.

oh
(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Why would we wait for night fall to get pissed?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

You're too busy paving drives during daylight.

(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

Sure who'd bother with paving when there's tarmac available?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

Oh the puny squeals of the subjugated

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Are you calling me a welsh?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

Don't get your hopes up

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

*steals your side of beef*

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

*gives you some extra letters for your language*
Oh, hang on. You speak English now.

*takes them back*
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Ná bí dána.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

Well copied.
Oh man, I'm shit at subjugation.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

And that's why you've no empire left.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I didn't want one anyway
Also, my lot are from over your way. Perhaps I'm a raiding party.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

PANTY RAID

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

*knickers on head*

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

Oh man, we forgot the doll.
*rocket in the bedroom*
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:36, archived)

Impressive criticism
Considering the greatest achievement of any Irish man or woman is to get as far from their country as they can, as soon as they can.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Says the emigrant to the man still living in his own country..

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Oh internet.
Do you hate the sun that much?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

Given the choice I'd rather be out in the sunshine handing people leaflets and generally bothering them.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

by staying indoors

(PsychoChomp, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

I can see it through the window
It seems to be doing well enough without my attention
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

By drinking Pimms whilst my dad sets up the barbecue.
*lounges*
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Are you in filthy Manc?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

I bloody am.
*filths it RIGHT up*
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

Yes! *fiflths*

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

Have a bath as soon as you can and mind your vowels

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Iz you saying we not know ow to talk blad?

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

I think so
But I only really understand English.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

i ought ta fackin do you.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Haha, actually, that one sounded more like Rosalicious.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

That's what I thought too, the slag.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

My vowels are perfectly fine and normal thank you, now shush it up Yorkshite.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'll start the singalong
Oh weeeeeeeeeeeeer 'as ta bin sin ah saw theeeeeeeee

Come on everybody!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I'm going to go outside
and punch the sun in the mouth.
(MooCow_Byter, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I did exactly that.
With added hamock.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

You win :(

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

You should invest in one, they are great.
The look of envy from people walking past my garden was worth the hamock price alone.

Almost fell out of it with laughter when Nakajima crashed on the final lap.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

My housemate would have been up £25 if Nakajima finished in the points.
He was going to buy us all ice creams :(
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

Oh man.
I need a couple of posts in the garden to achieve this wonderousness.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

You are taking your finals a lot less seriously than I am.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

I really, really aren't.
I spent 5 hours this morning working on them, am doing coursework right now and have planned another 3 hours tonight.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

besides, it's still 8 days until my first exam and I'm set up pretty well for it.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

Oh you've got ages.
I finish on the 2nd. Have done 4, got 4 to go.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

I planted some tomato plants
and had a nice cool glass of OJ. I also took advantage of the privacy my tall garden hedge provides by taking my shirt off.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Sun 24 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

i've done my list of jobs
and now i want to go play in the sun, but everyone else is still doing revision and stuff. *sigh*
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

get better friends.
Or friends who will revise whilst playing in the garden, like us cool kids here.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 24 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

*sigh*

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

I went to a market and bought some bumper polish and tyre shine
Then headed into Norwich to see if I could find a nice suit for my sister's wedding, which I didn't manage. I then also took the opportunity to attempt to find the best place to park when going to Norwich Theatre, and also failed at that. Basically, I drove 100 miles and came back with £7 worth of car cleaning gear.
( magnum, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

I went for a riverside walk this morning
then put a tent up in the back garden.
I'm now drinking diet coke and watching Villa v Newcastle on Sky Sports
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

I'm indoors as my son decided to have a hissy fit.
I'm going to try forcing him outside.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

Use fire.
Kids hate it.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

Really, you've not met normal kids then.
Mine love it, they discovered lighters and paper the other day.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

Oh, they love it when it's them burning wee bits of paper.
When you're charging at them with a sod of turf dipped in petrol, set alight and stuck on a pitchfork and screaming "FUCK OFF OR I'LL BURN YE" they'll scarper pretty sharpish.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

hahahaha
I have no petrol sadly.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

As long as you've got a pitchfork you should be able to work something out.
And if you've no pitchfork then your children should be taken into care.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

I have a rake with nails in it.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

I suppose we'll let this pass, what with the recession and so forth.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

( Sygiinu, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:41, archived)