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I bet the communion hosts are just disks of his coagulated, dried splooge.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 3:46, archived)
His dog collar
is the dessicated remains of his own fallopian tubing.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 25 May 2009, 3:49, archived)
His communion wine is the blood from the choirboy's bums that he just banged raw.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 3:51, archived)
His bible
is just odd pages from Razzle he found in a hedge.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 25 May 2009, 3:56, archived)
His congregation is made up entirely of sylvanian families characters with genitals drawn on their faces.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 3:59, archived)
His idea of missionary work
is to spend the money raised for the church roof on sex tourism. In Norfolk.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 25 May 2009, 4:03, archived)
He thinks the sermon on the mount was performed whilst on top of the village's Paris Hliton look alike.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 4:06, archived)
He turns wine into water
regularly.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 25 May 2009, 4:08, archived)
He eats like every meal is his Last Supper.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 4:08, archived)
This is my favourite ever thread about me.
I hope I remember it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 25 May 2009, 4:12, archived)
He doesn't remember a fucking thing
SHITTY VICAR CUNT.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 25 May 2009, 4:16, archived)
Something something somehing...
Just imagine I've said something snappy and witty here, I'm too drunk and tired to do any thinking.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 25 May 2009, 3:53, archived)
POOR SERMON, WILL NOT BUY AGAIN, BWARE RIP OFF !!!!

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 25 May 2009, 3:54, archived)
THS GUY IS A TOTOL TIME WASTER. DO NOT BYE FROM HIM.
HE IS SUCH A SHIT VICAR HE OFFRED MY MUM A BAT'S CLOACA ON A PLATE INSTED OF CAKE!!11!!11!1!!
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 3:57, archived)
That's not what I offered your mum.
Blah blah mum joke blah.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 25 May 2009, 3:59, archived)
Are you insinuating that you offered my mum your penis?
Because in that case she said it looked like a bat's cloaca.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 4:01, archived)
Yeah, well...
goodnight. Cricket tomorrow, WOO!
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 25 May 2009, 3:58, archived)
Sorry
but as acting head of the Parish Council, I've had a long conversation with the RSPCA and I'm afraid your presence at the cricket ground is no longer tolerable. Joyce will be happy to return your Chris Rea CDs and any other personal effects.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 25 May 2009, 4:12, archived)