oh dear.
Did someone get out the wrong side of bed this morning?
And did said someone put his foot in a pile of soggy kleenex stuck to the floor?
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:34, archived)

It's a reference to Derek and Clive
If I got out of bed on the wrong side, the only thing I'd put my foot in would be Nigella Lawsons dripping gash.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:37, archived)

I see.
I wondered where Nigella had been these last few nights. Wifey and I have missed our games of hide the sausage with Nigella.
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:39, archived)

You'll have more fun when she comes back
I've made a new hole in her.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:43, archived)

Lucky thing I carry a puncture repair outfit.

Once a boy scout... etc.
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:44, archived)

...you'll forever know the taste of middle aged penis?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:48, archived)

ahh, the memories

My scoutmaster, if we were naughty, would give us the option of telling our parents or pulling down our trousers, bending us over his knee and spanking us.
I always thought it a bit odd that the woggle he carried in his pocket used to grow everytime he asked me if I wanted a spank.
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:53, archived)