Jaysis, why did it take so long?
She should have flung sugar on it and stuffed it back up herself.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Jesus fucking Christ

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Haha, that's what they used to do with cattle in the old days.
Sugar shrinks it down, makes it easier to shove back in. Few stitches, done. Unless she strains before you get a chance to stitch and it all falls out again.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

how the fresh hell did anyone discover this?
did someone think "oh, my cow's cervix has dropped out ... hmm, better POUR SUGAR ALL OVER IT, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA"

or what exactly?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

I dunno, ask James Herriott.
He was always at it.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

"Oh no! The dog's got a bit of a crispy cock from horning in the sun too long...BETTER SLAP SOME MARMITE ON THAT!"

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

maybe they just went through all the cupboards trying every foodstuff on every body part until something worked

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

Probably.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

I prefer my vaginas coated in cocoa powder

( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

That could work, I suppose.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)