I wish I was you, in Gibraltar.
Are you in Gibraltar? That would be ace. You'd get Gibraltar points for mentioning Gibraltar. That would make all the girls in Gibraltar want to have sex with me in Gibraltar.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:12, archived)

Yes I am in Gibraltar
But I won't be in Gibraltar long. If you want to come to Gibraltar to have sex with the girls in Gibraltar, you can come and stay at mine so we can go on /talk all day.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:17, archived)

A kind offer from Gibraltar, but declined in Skipton.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:19, archived)

I've been to skipton
you have a pub with the same name as the one in emmerdale

and fields. lots and lots of fields.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:21, archived)

The Commercial?
There's no Woolpack, but the original boozer that they used in Esholt was really called the Commercial.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:24, archived)

oops
it was during a drive around. It was in Yeadon.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:25, archived)

I read that as, "LOOK AT ME! I'M IN SKIPTON."
Bloody show-off.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:32, archived)

What a shit I am
I mean, really.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:34, archived)

I wish I was you, in Yorkshire.
Are you in Yorkshire? That would be ace. You'd get Yorkshire points for mentioning Yorkshire. That would make all the girls in Yorkshire want to have sex with me in Yorkshire.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:18, archived)

I've knobbed the lot of them.
Even the stout thighed farmers' daughters who leave you no choice at closing time. Each and every one of them.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)

Well done
I do particularly love stout-thighed farmers' daughters.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:22, archived)

Ding ding ding
"Last orders, please"

"Oi, you. Yer coming with me."

"Yes, miss"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:25, archived)

Get pissed in Otley often?

( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:26, archived)

Never go boozing in Otley
A town famous for being the fightingest town in the country. More arrests for violent disorder per capita than any other. True fact.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:28, archived)

That does surprise me.
I'd have thought that towns with large military bases or docks would be the worst.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:37, archived)

I seem to recall it being the lead story in the T&A many years ago

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:42, archived)