I'll do it for you for half price.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)

I just need a door and some string

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

WOO ! THREE INCHES NOW !
... but what about sammi's tooth?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

?

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

Ok, that was probably a bit subtal, so I'll explain it.
Donkey Gums, picture him naked, or maybe just in his pants, standing next to a door. That's great stuff, stay with me here Sammi, don't get distracted. Then imagine him tying one end of the string around his willy, and the other around a door handle with the door open. Get him to step back a bit so the string is tort, you still with us? Now get someone to slam the door really hard. The motion from the door swinging will pull the string, which will in turn pull his willy. For comic effect, let's say this streches his willy and makes it longer.

The subtalty if "three inches now" implys that his willy, prior to said acts, is less than three inches long.

It's thrilling stuff, innit.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

Oh, ok.I've had no sleep, so subtle hints are lost on me today

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

hehe it's funny coz it's true :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

That's how I broke my last door, it feel off it's hinges.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

I got an errection and fucked up the whole foundations of my house.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

Haha, I would love to have been on the other end of the line when you tried to get your insurance on that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

I would choke you with the string and biff you on the back of the head with the door, making your eyes even more bulbous than they already are
She would wank herself so much over the sight that she'd spit all her teeth out.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

I've never wanted you so much as I do now.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

Let's double dick.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

Ok, maybe we'll get a chance of satisfying someone for once then !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

'we'll' ?
I'm DG. I just look at girls and they do a muff squirt that could knock a seagull off a bin.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)

*Prints off an A4 mask, ties it on with a bit of string, and gets a Cher wig*

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

It's a second molar
That's suffering from impacted wisdom tooth which has taken half the tooth face away. I can't even remove it with pliers!
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

You're tried with pliers??!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

Needle nosed
Desperate times etc
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

Oh sammi :(

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

and on that note

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

I hate to call 'bullshit' on this, oh wait, no I don't.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

Where would there be BS in that?
It's slightly wobbly now, I wouldn't have done it if it were solid.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)

Ouch,
Even I'm cringing here
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)