should I buy them a towel?
should I try and fuck all of the bridesmaids at once?
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

I think you're confused, you're meant to buy them a trowel.
And as far as I know, it doesn't matter if they're all at once or one at a time.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

at any point do I have to compose and perform an acapella version of 'sing hosanna'

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

Assuming the couple are doing it right,
they should have already hired someone to do that.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

is this what this e-mail is about then?
"Booking Confirmation for Acapella 'Sing Hosanna' performance"
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

Nah, that's probably spam. Delete it.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

done!
Any more advice?
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

The last wedding I went to had a three tiered pork pie instead of a wedding cake.
If they don't have this, complain bitterly. Preferably with tears. If you can smash the cake with rage, do it.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

I'm going to hum at the natural frequency of the material used to create the cake stanchions, EXPECT CAKE DEVASTATION

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

It's the other way 'round.
They'll all be tryin' to shag you.

You've got to pick one without hurting the other's feelings.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

so I need to mediate sexy times?

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)