how do you politely tell people in the flat above you
to stop shagging at 11pm-6am with the headboard banging against the wall and her screaming?

The other residents here are pissed off and have bought earplugs, but we want to be diplomatic.

Go up to their door, leave a letter asking to keep the human noise down, what would YOU do?
( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

You just have.
Sorry
( mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)

Wait outside their door and hod up scorecards in the manner of figure skating judges when they emerge.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

Knock on the door and diplomatically ask them to turn it down a bit.
Obviously not while they're shagging, or else the response may well be less than civilised.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

but,
It's the sound of them shagging that's disturbing him.
( mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

Have a shag-off.
Scream louder, bang harder.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

This method gets results

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:18, archived)

Drill a hole in the floor and poke your cock through it

( magnum, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

Or when they finish shout "can I have a go now?"

( magnum, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

And learn to levitate?

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

scream and moan in time with them

( weaver., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

I'd probably leave a note under the door
'Hi, could you please keep the noise down between 11pm and 6am, as it keeps us awake. Sorry for any offence.'
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)

I put "could you keep the 'human' noise down a little,
the walls aren't as thick as you may think. Cheers'

I dunno, maybe people on here had to put up with it. If it was drum and bass, fair enough but I dunno.
( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

People in the house next door in Pompey seemed to be auditioning for the Noisy Shagging Olympics
Then complained to us when a housemate had a noisy whatever-psychotic-condition-she-had attack at 7pm. Probably because they were missing Eastenders.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:16, archived)

The couple next door to me are occasionally noisy.
I just listen to the radio for 10-15 minutes. If I complained it'd mean I couldn't have sex without being a hypocrit.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:16, archived)

to the radio for
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:18, archived)

It doesn't bother me normally, sometimes it's quite funny if I have friends over
I thought this too. Maybe if it bothers me more at 5am I'll do something about it.
Or stand outside clappping, wearing a tuxedo and throwing roses.`
( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:18, archived)

I'd probably be more annoyed at that time.
The latest I've been woken up is about 1ish. Just knock on the door during their next session, oiled up and wearing a loin cloth.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:21, archived)

10-15 minutes?
Sucks to be them.
(AyeMe, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

There is always a point when something like that gets really annoying
Try with a polite note under the door, the longer you leave it the more difficult it will be.
( magnum, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:17, archived)

Go upstairs and tell them that someone is having really loud sex in their bed, and that they should probably call the police.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)

Say things like 'heard them coming'

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

Go and ask to borrow their copy of 'When Harry Met Sally', you know, the one you guys keep playing every night?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

ha! I like this

( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

have a wank

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

pretend it's bumming

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:18, archived)

Wank on their door and leave a sincere apologetic note blue-tacked just above the stain

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

Just tell them
suggest they move the head board away from the wall. I did this with my next door neighbours. It was fun because the both blushed :oD
( jenpots, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

Play the grandstand theme full pelt when they are making the most noise
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qf9qi8Q1tg&feature=related
( MrA, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:15, archived)

merciful allah, this is an excellent idea

( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:21, archived)

When I complained about my neighbours noise she retorted with a note saying she didn't look forward to when my girlfriend visitted
I made the mistake of telling her
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:15, archived)

Confront the guy on his own and tell him
that you heard sex noises coming from their flat during the day. You wouldn't want to be crass, but you were concerned because you usually only hear it at night between 11pm and 6pm and you only remember because it keeps you awake, so it really stood out when you heard orgasmic screaming on the kitchen floor at lunchtime. You know, because you're a concerned neighbour and everything.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:21, archived)

pffft

( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)